Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Perils of Line Drying

Boy, do I have a FUNNY STORY for you! It involves a wasp down my pants. How can that NOT be funny, right? Unless you're me, and you're the one who HAD a wasp down your pants. Then, not so much funny as OWWWWW.

BUT ANYWAY.

So yesterday after mowing all the lawns I took a nice shower and pulled out some clean clothes to put on. I took some jeans straight from the laundry basket of clothes I had dried on the clothesline the day before and not yet put away. I pulled them on, and just as I was buttoning them, I noticed a kind of pricking on my back thigh. It felt like there was some kind of thorn or weed seed that had gotten stuck in there, a not uncommon occurrence. So I stuck my hand in to pull whatever it was out, and just as I was registering that whatever I had grabbed was a wee bit larger than your average weed seed, I got a look at what was between my fingers.

Yes, it was a wasp. Yes, it was still alive. And yes, it had indeed stung me, on my upper back thigh.

So I threw it on the ground and stomped on it (revenge is sweet), and then became aware of the pain in my leg. Luckily, I was already upstairs by the computer, so I looked to see what I should put on the sting. Baking soda and vinegar, said the Internet. Alrighty then. Downstairs I went to make a paste of baking soda and vinegar to slap on my leg. And then I stood there for a second in the kitchen, pants around my knees, goopy paste on my leg, considering a logistical problem. That is, if I pulled my pants up, the goop would get rubbed away. But I didn't want to take my pants off, because it was pretty cold in the house.

So, with a mental shrug, I pulled them up as far as I could without smearing the paste and waddled back upstairs with my pants around my knees. No one was home but the dogs, and they aren't shocked by much.

Just in case you were wondering, the baking soda and vinegar paste worked. And I sat at the computer with my pants half on and half off until the paste dried. Because I am just that classy.

Okay, I think I've left you with enough disturbing mental images for the day. Over and out.

17 comments:

Drew Kime said...

There is no comment I can make here that won't make me sound like a total perv. (Must ... stop ... typing ...)

Leslie said...

This sounds like a comedy sketch!

Sherry said...

Too bad there isn't a video. This would be a huge success on You Tube!!!

Phoo-D said...

Oh dear, ouch! That sounds horrible. I bet you shake out your pants before putting them on from here forward!

Chiot's Run said...

Oh, that's too funny. That hasn't happened to me yet, but with the number of wasps we have here it will soon I'm sure.

Hope you heal up quickly so you can keep your pants on and get back to work!

Sara said...

Kristin, your home life scares me. Bats in the washer and wasps in your pants! Yikes.

SaintTigerlily said...

Eeeek. I hate wasps.

Meadowlark said...

You just THINK the dogs weren't scarred for life. They're all talking about it, in doggy world.

tu mere said...

Lucky you're not allergic like your dad. Still, that's a surprisingly lousy and painful way to start your day. Sooooo sorry! Can't wait to see what you can come up with for tomorrow's blog. This one is a hard act to follow.

Amy said...

I was waiting to hear you say you had to fling your leg up around your head and scrape out the stinger with a credit card...hee...

Krysta said...

going country could be a snl sketch!

who'd play you?
who'd play a?
who's be mil?

Anonymous said...

Yes,you must check clothes when taking them off the line for a while till the wasps get settled in their nest areas. The best time to take them down is while the sun is still on them , before it gets cool enough for the wasps to be looking for a warm place to stay for the night. It doesn't last too long though, maybe a couple weeks. I had a bumble bee on top of my head this morning, I was getting something out of refrig freezer, turned to hubby and said 'what is going on with my hair?' because it felt like there was a stiff breeze blowing it back and forth on the top (or static electricity)and luckily I didn't feel up there with my hand. He says "hold still" in this paniced voice.....so I do....and think'what the h&ll is taking you so long to get it off of me?' so he knocks it off and goes to step on it with the side of his shoe real dainty like and I say move I'll kill it for you and smashec the bugger to smithereens.
Oh crud, sorry for the length.

cndymkr / jean said...

It is never dull in the country, is it? Good thing you're not allergic.

FinnyKnits said...

Well that is just awesome.

Reminds me a little of that episode of Friends with Ross and the leather pants.

Except your story is funnier. And doesn't involve men who use too much hair product.

Glad you lived through your Spicy Pants encounter.

x said...

Baking soda and vinegar. Got it.

Poor you. This came after "mowing ALL the lawns." And most people bemoan the one.

Sweet Bird said...

umm...wow

Daisy said...

I'm laughing so hard! This story is so strange it can only be true.