Boy, do I have a FUNNY STORY for you! It involves a wasp down my pants. How can that NOT be funny, right? Unless you're me, and you're the one who HAD a wasp down your pants. Then, not so much funny as OWWWWW.
So yesterday after mowing all the lawns I took a nice shower and pulled out some clean clothes to put on. I took some jeans straight from the laundry basket of clothes I had dried on the clothesline the day before and not yet put away. I pulled them on, and just as I was buttoning them, I noticed a kind of pricking on my back thigh. It felt like there was some kind of thorn or weed seed that had gotten stuck in there, a not uncommon occurrence. So I stuck my hand in to pull whatever it was out, and just as I was registering that whatever I had grabbed was a wee bit larger than your average weed seed, I got a look at what was between my fingers.
Yes, it was a wasp. Yes, it was still alive. And yes, it had indeed stung me, on my upper back thigh.
So I threw it on the ground and stomped on it (revenge is sweet), and then became aware of the pain in my leg. Luckily, I was already upstairs by the computer, so I looked to see what I should put on the sting. Baking soda and vinegar, said the Internet. Alrighty then. Downstairs I went to make a paste of baking soda and vinegar to slap on my leg. And then I stood there for a second in the kitchen, pants around my knees, goopy paste on my leg, considering a logistical problem. That is, if I pulled my pants up, the goop would get rubbed away. But I didn't want to take my pants off, because it was pretty cold in the house.
So, with a mental shrug, I pulled them up as far as I could without smearing the paste and waddled back upstairs with my pants around my knees. No one was home but the dogs, and they aren't shocked by much.
Just in case you were wondering, the baking soda and vinegar paste worked. And I sat at the computer with my pants half on and half off until the paste dried. Because I am just that classy.
Okay, I think I've left you with enough disturbing mental images for the day. Over and out.