In lieu of anything remotely resembling a story with a narrative and a point and all that other hard stuff, how about a random collection of things from today. Yes? Great. You're my kind of people.
1) This morning as I trudged wearily towards the kitchen at 5:15 in search of coffee, I happened to glance out the dining room window towards the paddock and saw . . . what the hell is that? Is that a sheep? With a water bucket on its head? Yes indeed. I briefly considered going out there and getting the bucket off myself before deciding the hell with that and waking A. up to go chase his own sheep around and save them from their own stupidity. It was the ram with the bucket on his head, incidentally. Which makes me consider that possibly our future lambs are not getting the best genetics when it comes to intelligence. And that's saying something in regards to sheep.
2) Thanks to that early rousting from bed that resulted in an early start in his office this morning, A. finished up with his work mid-afternoon today. So of course I put him right back to work digging up the garlic. I could have done it myself, but once again decided the hell with that and enlisted A. I'm getting to be a real pain in the ass lately. The garlic looks pretty good actually, despite an invasion by some very pushy volunteer potato plants and the overshadowing of the asparagus trees that always get way bigger than I remember them being. So if nothing else, we'll have lots of garlic this winter. That's something, anyway.
3) We had our chimney cleaned and inspected today. All the official recommendations for this stress that it be done EVERY YEAR or certain conflagration will ensue. I think we last had it done at least two years ago, possibly three. But the official recommendations don't really apply to us as our woodstove was actually listed as "unclassified" by the inspector--which translates to "HOW old is this thing again?"--and burns way hotter than modern stoves. Which means virtually no creosote build-up. Good to know.
4) I would be quite happy to never hear the word "no" from the beautiful mouth of my son ever again. Particularly in a long, loud, strung-together manner that transcribes thusly: "NONONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOO." This is the response I got today for questions involving the potty, eating lunch, going outside, drinking water, checking for eggs in the shed, the advisability of touching Daddy's chainsaw, and too many other things to mention. I was also informed loudly and at length that he did not want Mommy to eat anything this morning. He has yet to learn that I don't take orders from a two year old. Maybe earplugs would be a good idea.
5) We were also treated to a ten-minute monologue by this same child regarding his stuffed lambie. He was actually talking to the lambie, asking what was the matter, pretending to give it milk from a bottle and put it to bed. This gives me hope that someday I might actually end up with a compassionate, fully rational individual as my offspring instead of a demanding narcissist. Unfortunately, that day was not today, nor will it be tomorrow. But someday.