Monday, March 26, 2018

The Tooth Fairy Gets Tricky


I have an unfortunately ambivalent attitude towards the standard childhood magic characters. By which I mean Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. I just can't go all in and weave elaborate stories and stage elaborate scenarios involving these characters. Neither do I flat-out deny their existence.

Mostly, I evade any direct questions. So far, Cubby and Charlie seem to take their classmates' word that these things are real. So they get stockings from Santa at Christmas (but not presents, because I want some credit for getting them the fun stuff, thank you) and Easter baskets hidden by the Easter Bunny.

And then there's the Tooth Fairy.

Cubby has been losing quite a few teeth lately, and A. as the Tooth Fairy has been leaving him a quarter for a tooth. Unfortunately, Cubby's classmates have also been losing a lot of teeth lately, and at least one parent has screwed the rest of us by handing out a dollar per tooth. A dollar! For a bloody tooth! That is not going to happen.

Of course, Cubby complained. I told him that I'm pretty sure the Tooth Fairy stops coming if you complain. Then he asked me if I was leaving him the quarters. Luckily, I could truthfully say that I had put no quarters in his room. Then he asked A. and I distracted him by asking him if he wanted to help me finish dinner.

Distracted, but not forgotten. I just found a note on his bedside table that read:

Dear Tooth Fairy,

Please do not take my tooth. And please leave me $1. And if you are Mommy or Daddy, please sign here ___________.*

He hasn't lost another tooth yet, so I'm not sure how A. is going to handle this. I guess he just won't sign. I certainly won't.

* I took the liberty of correcting the spelling here for you.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You must have to just leave the room and laugh hysterically. That Cubby--he's a sly one! What a very funny story.

Imagine--collusion among Tooth Fairy recipients....

Anonymous said...

I would leave a paw print in response--and a quarter. Mary in MN

sheila said...

Kids must sign NDA's or no more money for them.

At a dollar per tooth with all those kids you would go broke.

Anonymous said...

Also, you could sign it "the tooth fairy" ht didn't specify for you to sign your signature.

Europafox said...

Oh gosh he is so cute! BTW have you ever had that middle of the night panic where you wake up with an audible panic noise emanating, realising you haven't taken the tooth and put the money under the pillow? Then to have to root around under the pillow half asleep trying to find the tooth? I've had to do some morning stealth reconnaissance missions too - bad mama!