This just in: Chickens are really, really stupid.
I know this is obvious to anyone who has had any contact with chickens, and A. had informed me of this more than once, but I didn't realize the extent of the stupidity until last night.
I went out around 7:30 last night to close up the chicken hatch and shut the chickies away safe in their coop for the night. Chickens, being creatures of habit, always go into the coop of their own volition when it starts to get dark, so all I have to do is shut the hatch behind them. But last night, after I had shut the hatch, I realized I wasn't hearing the cheeping I normally hear from inside the coop. I shone my flashlight around in there and saw . . . no chickens. Not even ONE chicken.
I figured the odds of the whole flock being wiped out all at once by a predator were slim, but I was still nervous. So I went into the ram pasture, looked around the sheep barn, the old compost heap, under the rose bush where the chickens like to hang. No chickens. Then, just as I was getting ready to go back to the house to summon reinforcements, I saw them.
The retarded things were roosting on the bottom rung of an old ladder that was leaning against the barn. All five, right there on that rung in the wide open, easy chicken dinners for any stray fox, raccoon, possum, or weasel.
When I shone my flashlight on them, they didn't move. I kicked the ladder. They didn't move. I reached down and grabbed one, and the other four DIDN'T MOVE. So one by one, I picked them up and threw them in the coop. Had I been a raccoon, I could have grabbed one, eaten it leisurely, then strolled back to the ladder for courses two, three, four, and five. And they would all be sitting there, awaiting their fate.
It really makes you wonder how chickens as a species have managed to survive this long.
I think the only reason they have survived is that we keep most of them in coops so that they can't hurt themselves too badly.
ReplyDeleteUm, actually I think that same thing every day about humans. Especially male humans. Especially white, male, conservative humans.
ReplyDeleteSorry. The presidential race is on my mind, what with the complete melt-down of life as we know it.
Don't show this post to PETA. Or Pam Anderson. :)
ReplyDeleteMy least favorite chores when growing up were any chores involving the chickens. You'd walk through the chicken yard, and they'd get scared cuz they thought you were going to step on them, but instead of running away they'd squat down (like that made them invisible) RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR MOVING FEET so that you'd trip over them. Dumb. I used to fantasize about kicking them right over the fence.
ReplyDeleteChickens probably survive by having so darn many eggs!! That way, when they get wiped out, maybe there are 50 baby chicks to take their place!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing as dumb or even dumber, are sheep.. Oh.my.God. STUPID!! But those are some stupid chickens...lol
I think part of a rooster's job is keeping chickens from exterminating themselves. Not that this makes it worth having one. Chickens are loud enough, thank you.
ReplyDelete