First we have this monstrous pile of wood that is currently squatting right in the middle of the path. It all must be stacked neatly. By me.
Go big or go home, I always say.*
The photo doesn't really show how much that is. It's five face cords, in case you care. If you don't know what a face cord is (and why would you?), you can just go with my standard measurement--that's a shitload of wood.
And hey, remember the pears? Yeah, I haven't done a damn thing with them yet. And I don't think I expressed to you how many, many pears there were. A shitload, that's how many. Look.
Harry and David ain't got nothin' on me.
There are two more huge paper bags full in the kitchen that are close to overripe and need to be dealt with immediately. Oh, how I detest peeling pears. My hand may never recover.
Anyway, why am I hanging around here bitching? I got shit to do. See you on the other side.
* I have never in my life uttered this phrase, for I am not a complete tool.
Send me some pears! I love them, and I'm about out of these tiny pears my mom gave me. I mean, what else are you going to do with all those pears?
ReplyDeleteOh man, canning pears? No thank you. Pears were my least favorite fruit to can. God shouldn't make fruit that can't be blanched to skin them.
ReplyDeleteEver try pear sauce? Cook the suckers skins and all and then put them through a food mill. Cook down to desired constistancy with any spices you like and voila'...Pear Sauce! Can like applesauce. It is really yummy and later if you get tired of it you can put it in your dehydrator and make pear leather out of it. Beats peeling the little buggers! Have fun, Kim
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your chores. They don't look fun :(
ReplyDeleteYour shitload of wood looks like a much bigger shitload than your shitload of pears. Is the wood measured in metric shitloads? Because I know that's bigger, but I didn't think it was that much bigger.
ReplyDeleteOh, and who are Harry and David?
What am I going to do with all those pears, Sara? Why, can them of course! Canner load #1 is bubbling away at this very moment while I rest my crippled peeling hand.
ReplyDeleteSwwet Bird--AMEN.
Kim--Yes, I have considered pear sauce. That's the next step, when I've canned as many as I can, and the MiL has done whatever she's going to do. I've never HAD pear sauce, but I'm sure it's delicious.
Drew--A shitload is not an exact measurement. I take it to mean "too much." And who are Harry and David? How can you NOT know who Harry and David are? Is? It's a company. They sell fancy and way-too-expensive fruit by mail order. Their specialty is pears. I've had their pears. Mine are better.
Oh, fancy and way-too-expensive ... that explains why I never heard of them.
ReplyDeleteIf you think your hands hurt peeling those pears, just wait till you get to the potatoes. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI may be an imposter! Muaahaha!
ReplyDeleteOK, no...only I could be this lame.
Man, you aren't lying about a lack of work. You ALWAYS have a major project. It's like living with Mr. Miyagi! :)
ReplyDelete