I say, "Holy shit."
Or sometimes I say," That's a shitload of potatoes." Or sometimes I say, "The potatoes will destroy us all." Or sometimes I just stand there with my mouth open. Because believe me when I tell you, there are SO MANY potatoes in our garden.
In the last few days, I've been cutting off the wilting foliage of the potato plants. The idea is to get rid of the foliage and any diseases that might be on them, leave the potatoes in the ground for a couple of weeks to harden their skins, then dig them up. Check. Commenced step one: The elimination of the foliage.
This is a disgusting task. It's been wet for about a week now, which means the dead foliage is all slimy. Also slimy? The numerous SLUGS ALL OVER THE GARDEN. EW. It's been a wet year, and we no longer have the ducks and goose that used to eat the slugs in the garden (though frankly, I'll take slugs over ducks and geese--nasty creatures). This means the slugs are taking over. I kept a bucket next to me, in which I would drop all the slugs I uncovered (while wearing gloves, thankyouverymuch). Then I delivered the Bucket o' Slugs to the chickens for a feast. Yum.
BUT ANYWAY, BACK TO THE POTATOES.
The potatoes grew so well this year that it's just been an impenetrable jungle in the Potato Forest for the past month or two. I couldn't even tell where the rows were. When I started cutting the foliage off, I realized that was because the potato plants weren't just plants--they were vines. And they were five feet long when extended. And I had to cut down seven rows of potatoes. With 15 plants in each row. And then haul all the foliage to the gully and hurl it over the fence. Are my italics conveying how exciting this all is?
Yeah, it's not exciting. It's slimy and nasty and I am frankly scared of the numbers of potatoes lurking in the soil. I couldn't move any tiny bit of dirt lest I uncover another potato. There are quite a few that just got pushed right up to the surface by the sheer mass of other potatoes in the ground.
So, in two weeks, the potatoes will be exhumed. And then we can all bask in our high-glycemic euphoria. Yay.
The saddest part is that you have to wait two more weeks for the potatoes. Oh, that and all the nasty filth of everything you just described.
ReplyDeleteM & I will be happy to help you with the potato consumption. I love potatoes. Actually I love carbs in any form. But especially potato form. Mashed with garlic braised in heavy cream. Mmmm.
ReplyDeleteI have to think that you uber gardeners already know about this, but the only thing that saved us from the slugs in Alaska (which, yes my friends, were ALASKA-SIZED SLUGS) was the magic beer trap. Those suckers just LOVED cheap American pilsner. Every morning we'd go out and empty a little bowl full of dead slug. It was totally rad.
I did try the beer bait, but I think our slugs must be teetotalers. That, or they found the Leinenkugel wheat beer just as disgusting as we did. That's why I decided the slugs could have it, but even THE SLUGS didn't like that beer. In any case, none of them ever ended up in the trap.
ReplyDeleteBut the MiL has a plan. And we are also going to temporarily relocate the chickens to the garden this winter so they can eat some. We hope.
Ahhh...slugs. I remember slugs in WA, those Banana Slug guys that are 8 inches long. Friggin gross. I remember when I was a kid there was a PSA on TV about getting rid of slugs on walkways because an oddly high number of people had stepped on large slugs, and slipped and fell on sidewalks and stuff. How much would that suck in the hospital, yo? "How'd you get here?" "I slipped on an 8 inch slug." Lame
ReplyDeleteAlso, remember that potatoes can very well and are great for going in soups later on. I used to use home canned potatoes all the time when I lived near my family.
Oh, and if you're looking for methods for slug removal/extermination - slugs won't cross copper wire. It causes some chemical reaction that burns their skin. My mother used to run a length of copper wire right over the ground around the perimeter of the garden - worked surprisingly well. Same with cayenne pepper - though that's pretty obvious and not some crazy chemical reaction. That shit'll burn anyone.
ReplyDeletemmm... just think about all the poatoey goodness in the months to come.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of potatoes did you grow? I guess I'm the only one who thinks slugs are kinda cool?
ReplyDeleteYes, Jean, I believe you ARE the only one who thinks slugs are kinda cool. But I'm willing to overlook this strange personality flaw of yours, especially if you promise to come play with our cool slugs and get them out of my garden. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteWe grew one row of a variety called Bake Kings (similar to a Russet), and the rest were Green Mountains. Green Mountains are a sort of all-purpose potato, like Yukon Golds. The MiL took a little road trip up north this spring to Cornell University's potato research farm (bet you didn't know there was such a thing, did you?) to pick up our seed potatoes personally this year, so I somehow doubt these varieties are readily available to the general public.
Bubba would love you with all your potatoes. I haven't ever grown them which is a bone of contention between the two of us. Maybe one day.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, I love the idea of taking the bucket of evil slugs off to the chickens. DIE BASTARDS! (the slugs, not the chickens. Obv.)
I'm with Finny on the Bucket O' Slugs. Any chance of photos of the feeding frenzy? Or a literary description of the carnage?
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you throw your weeds to the sheep?
ReplyDelete