Awhile ago, I mentioned in passing that I was in band at one time in my checkered past.* And I practically DARED you to guess what instrument I played, never thinking anyone actually would.
Except Jive Turkey did.
Yes, J.T., you may have been joking and making the stupidest and most outrageous guess you could think of, but I did indeed play the tuba. And I must relay to you that any time this comes up (which is not often), A. always remarks that only fat kids play the tuba. Well, I am here to dispel that myth. I was never fat, and I did play the tuba.
Why the tuba? Hell, I don't know. We got to try out a bunch of instruments in fifth grade, and maybe I just liked how big the mouthpiece was. Or the fact that I didn't have to carry it around. Or even buy my own instrument, because for some reason, the school had their own tubas. Whatever, I played it. For the three years of middle school, anyway. I dropped it when I got to high school and concentrated on soccer instead. But I did get to go to Disneyland with our band when I was in seventh grade, so that was pretty cool. But not as cool as going to Europe with my soccer team, so soccer wins again.
And anyone who would like to make any sneering comments about how only geeks are in band, go ahead. But be prepared for a throw-down. Just remember that I can carry fifty-pound sacks of chicken feed, and I practice throw-downs on sheep. I may be a geek, but I'm a strong geek.
Any more band geeks out there? C'mon, don't be shy. Let's hear it: What did you play?
* Not really on the checkered part.
Years ago, when I was living in NYC and supplementing my income by cocktail waitressing (at the bar, coincidentally, crushed by a crane collapse earlier this year--wtf?), this guy I knew confessed he had a crush on me by saying, "You're like the kind of girl who played oboe at band camp." And my answer? "I WAS the girl who played oboe..." Ah, geek love...
ReplyDeleteBand geeks rule! Sort of. I played the clarinet from fourth grade (that's when we were given the chance to check out instruments; I wanted to take drums, but we couldn't afford to rent anything, so I went with the school-supplied clarinet instead) all the way through twelfth grade. Why? Because as long as you showed up to band in high school, you got a 100% as your grade. Duh. My mom did buy me a used clarinet at some point, too, so I kept playing. I pulled out that clarinet recently and tried to play; not too bad, but it needs to be fixed up for sure.
ReplyDeleteI forgot that you played the tuba. Now that I read it here, I'm pretty sure you told me that at some point. I still think you should've played the triangle.
Being Deaf you wouldn't think i'd play any musical instrument. However, at my Deaf high school i had to take music class and i got stuck with the piano instead of drums like i wanted. Eventually, i was able to bang out a song from fiddler on the roof.
ReplyDelete***i've since then managed to forget everything i learned*****
Beethoven i'm not.
Clarinet...first chair! Ughhh that even sounds geeky!
ReplyDeleteI can carry a 50# bag of chicken feed too AND throw down a camel...wanna wrestle?????
OK don't really throw down the camel, just boss him around a little!
Kim
Haha! No way! Actually, when you challenged us to guess what instrument you played, my brain immediately screamed "TUBA!" before I could even put any thought into it. I am chalking it up to my Spider Sense. Or perhaps I am really inconsequentially clairvoyant.
ReplyDeleteThe one and only reason I wasn't a Band Geek was because my older sister was in the band, and I REFUSED to fit into her mold, MAN! Plus, I was too busy being a theatre geek.
Ha! I did play drums. I even made a living at it for a couple of years. You can all be jealous now, I'll wait ...
ReplyDeleteYou done? Okay. So, I was also a theater geek and a chorus geek. But chorus was only because the male/female ratio was so much better than band.
I was a totally competitive, (read GEEK in capitals), clarinet player. But I sublimated my talent by donning white vinyl mid calf boots with pom poms and short shorts worn with panty hose so that I could look hot while dragging a flag around the football field. I'm going to hide now...
ReplyDeleteCount me in the ranks of the clarinetists who really wanted to play the drums and then became a theater geek. Actually I wanted to play violin but grew up in small rural school district that didn't even have an orchestra program. And our high school only taught one foreign language, so I made up for that by taking THREE languages when I went to college. Still never learned to play the violin (but daughter does... sorry for living vicariously through you, honey!).
ReplyDeleteInteresting. Like I wrote earlier, I played the clarinet, but I was also involved in the drama club in high school. Then I was a theater minor, then major, then dropped it due to the need to declare a major as quickly as possible to graduate on time, plus the fact that I hated the head of the theater department (long story). And JT, love how you spelled it "theatre," actually; I didn't because people don't like when I do that (they don't understand my nerdiness).
ReplyDeleteWhat's the range of a tuba?
ReplyDeleteAbout twenty yards if you've got a good arm!
What is the difference between a tuba and a bouncy castle?
You take your shoes off before you jump on a bouncy castle.
And I only say that because my boss was a tuba player and he knows all the tuba jokes.
:)
What do you call someone who hangs around musicians?
ReplyDeleteTuba player
Why doesn't anyone march behind sousaphone players?
Same reason no one likes to march behind horses.
What's the difference between a squashed skunk in the road and a squashed tuba in the road?
Skid marks before the skunk.
(Okay, the first one is really a drummer joke, and the third is a lawyer joke. So sue me.(
NICE! Bubba played the trombone. I feel like that might be slightly dorkier than the tuba. Hard to say.
ReplyDeleteI was never in band, but for some reason I took clarinet lessons in the second grade. Perhaps my parents wanted me to reinact Fiddler on the Roof in our living room?
I am also scared of you now. Be nice to your sheep. Except the ram-y ones.
The tuba ! Cool !
ReplyDeleteI played the cello.
(and I suffered a lot...)
Didn't ever do the band thing. My sister did, however, play the trumpet, which is really funny in retrospect. I always had a fascination with the sax, though. Still do.
ReplyDeleteNow you just have to PROVE you played the tuba. Plcs, please.
Kristin, I've tagged you on my blog...I can't wait to see what randomness you reveal. Although it can't beat playing a TUBA!
ReplyDeleteGEEK rules!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat's worse than band geek? Student orchestra, first violin. Tra la! I was HOT in high school.
ReplyDelete