Saturday, January 17, 2009

This One's a Real Stumper

Y'all will never guess this one. No, really. I bet you won't be able to figure it out. But I'll give you three tries. You ready? Okay . . .

Guess whose pillow FROZE TO THE GODDAMN WALL Thursday night.

Go ahead. Think about it. Mull it over. Consider all the possibilities. I'll wait.

waitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaiting

waitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaitingwaiting

Okay! Let me solve this little riddle for you:

* If you guessed mine, you're right!

* If you guessed A.'s, you're right!

* If you guessed only WE would be crazy enough to live in a house where such a thing is possible, you're right!

Think warm thoughts for us.

P.S. You can still enter for the $25 Amazon gift certificate. Just comment on this post.

21 comments:

  1. Careful, don't touch your nose to the wall or that will freeze there too. You won't be found till spring!

    Sheila

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  2. Dear lord.

    On the bright side (for Chris, not you), after seeing pictures of your frozen walls, I whine slightly less about the temperature of our home.

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  3. I bet if you could somehow cut back on your breathing, that wouldn't happen (you know, less vapor in the air). Try taking only every other breath.

    I know, I know - I am a problem solver. It's what I do. No need to thank me.

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  4. Yikes! You need a big wool blanket like we have. It it so thick and warm, hand woven by artisans in Colombia, South America. My parents brough it back for us once. It's so thick and warm we've given it the nickname: Big Nasty. It's so heavy sometimes you can't even roll over at night. It's the reason we turn our thermostat down to 55 at night.

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  5. Wow. Uh, wow. That's hardcore. Your life? Is not boring.

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  6. Holy shit. You really need to move.

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  7. I've been reading about trials and tribulations faithfully and, still, I can't quite get my noggin' around this. Maybe it's because I live in the south (relatively speaking), maybe it's because I'm a total wuss, maybe it's because I understand nothing about heat transfer. But you must delve into this phenom more for me. I'm grasping at straws here. WHY is Blackrock so damn cold? What does the MiL say? Has it ALWAYS been that cold? Are other homes this cold? It's quite perplexing.

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  8. P.S. Sara might be on to something. Just sayin'

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  9. I think what blew my mind was when you said A. commented that was "just like when I was a boy." Pillows freezing to the wall is just not healthy in my book...and the fact this is a repeatable phenomenon.

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  10. On things freezing to walls--rls really does have the answer--of course, beds have headboards for a reason--and in the dim and distant past, beds (at least the beds of people of means) had bedcurtains. Adam should make a headboard for the bed, which would effectively prevent the freezing of the pillows to the wall. Or he could make a full canopy bed, and they could have bed curtains as, say, Eleanor of Aquitaine might have had. Or Henry VIII, or virtually anyone before central heating. Oh yes, the "heat" was on , but the duct is not on the outside wall, where it should be, so, voila, ice.
    I have a Lakota this winter in one of my classes. He understands sleeping in the cold--opens his windows, in fact, to wake up to frozen water. YES!!
    (knock on wood, but we are very healthy--)

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  11. Fear not, dearly beloveds of Blackrock, a heat wave is on the way. Here in St. Paul, MN, we were at 22 degrees ABOVE zero today, a full 40 degree difference between today and mid-week. So it's coming your way, practically spring. Mary in MN

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  12. Wow. I can't been to imagine this. I read MIL's comment and I have to agree - you need to have bed curtains. Get out that sewing machine and get started.

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  13. Magpie, Blackrock is a stone house, which is why it is cold. Stone conducts heat well, meaning that the inner surface of Kristin's bedroom wall approaches that of the outer surface, well below freezing during an arctic blast. Here is an experiment for you: put a stone in your freezer all day and then bring it out and snuggle up to it. Now imagine a whole wall of rocks, equally cold, sucking the warmth out of your body. You will empathize with Kristin even more after trying this.

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  14. This comment is from A., since Kristin wished for my assistance in fully explaining the seemingly baffling sheet and pillow freezing episodes.

    First of all, the walls of the house are approximalty 12" solid stone. The interior (inside the bedroom) surface of the wall is formed by lathe and plaster over the stone, with no air space or insulation between the plastered and painted surface and the primary structural wall. As has been mentioned by Roger, this leads the interior wall temperature to be similar to the outside wall temperature. The wall directly behind the bed is an exterior facing wall.

    Also, this is an eight bedroom house. Some of the rooms are served by ductwork from an oil burning forced air furnace. Part of the downstairs is also heated by a powerful wood stove. Some of the upstairs has no provision for heat at all, and is now shut off entirely in the winter (such as my old childhood bedroom).

    Our current bedroom is actually served by the forced air furnace, however, being distant from the furnace, the air is not very hot when it come out of the vent. It warms the room to 45 F. or so, but it does not warm the walls. Thus, the breath freezes.

    With regards to the other questions, some parts of the house are quite warm, since the woodstove works well with the stone walls, actually heating them up. Other areas are heated more adequately by the furnace, if you don't mind spending money. There is a propane heater in the kitchen, and space heaters in the bathrooms, which work adequately.

    As to the potential for more heat, if you were to run the furnace flat out and continually, the house would indeed be warmer. You would burn a gallon of heating oil per hour from December to April.

    Finally, as for the past, when I was growing up the house was much colder, as there were no space heaters and my father was even miserly with the woodstove (we are not). In the distant past there was a huge hand stoked coal furnace, which I believe could heat most of the house at reasonable cost, if you did not mind getting up to shovel coal during the night.

    The last thing that should be mentioned is that the house was bult in 1865, and 90% of the windows and doors are original. When the north wind blows at 20-30 mph for a week at 10 degrees, the cold tends to work its way in.

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  15. Wow, that was quite the explanation. No one meant to hurt your feelings. You have to admit that it is just a little hard for the rest of the world who lives in cozy, regularly heated homes to believe it's even possible to survive in those conditions. I for one am one of those people....who has a heated home and a space heater too! I surely would never make it at Blackrock.

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  16. Hurt feelings? Oh no. There were none of those. I know it's impossible for the rest of the world to really understand this kind of cold house, because, well, I WAS the rest of the world before I moved here. That's why I asked A. to give a good explanation for me, so maybe everyone would get some idea of why it's like this.

    And as for it being unhealthy to live like this? None of us are ever sick, so I think perhaps the converse is true.

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  17. A, I am forever indebted for your most patient and thorough explanation. I get it! I couldn't endure it, but I get it. Oh, and the gallon of oil an hour? Oh.My.God. I live in an old house too. Not as old as yours (some 70-80 years old). Our windows and doors are original and the house is quite drafty. But it's Oklahoma, where plenty a winter day sees 50 degrees, so our little coal-burning furnace now turned gas-furnace does just fine in every room except the sun-room, which is cold by Oklahoma standards this time of year.

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  18. Delurking for a moment just to say I think it's kind of cool that you live that way! I like the independent spirit - so way to go! And it's expensive to replace windows etc.... Having said that... I do admit to liking warmth. One of the best gifts I ever rec'd...and it sounds odd, but Kristin may understand... is a quilted robe filled with goose down. It's heaven to have that on... Not stylin' - ain't gonna get no "sexy mama" award with that on, but let me tell ya...you won't care!! You will be WARM! Lynne

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  19. I like the idea of bed curtains, but am afraid that with bed curtains come the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future.
    Thanks to A for his explanation. And a belated thank you to him for the naked chicken butt advice.
    That wasn't supposed to sound dirty.

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  20. Please gawd don't ever let me live somewhere that my pillow may freeze to the wall...

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  21. okay, i have read every comment and explantion...(hopfully my internet never goes out again)

    woman, you have my utmost respect. i bow down to you because if i lived in that kinda cold i'd be a whiny bitch (sorry about the language but it's true)

    i do feel that all your readers should get together and make a "kristen goes to a tropical island in the winter" charity fund because damn! that's just wrong that your pillow freezes to the wall.

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