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It's Friday! And that means it's all about the liquor today.

Specifically, it's all about a new cocktail I invented. Well, I think I invented it. It's possible that it is well-known among bartenders (or mixologists, if you want to be all irritating and pretentious--which I don't). Except how many bartenders have access to mulberry juice? None. Unless they lost their minds right about the end of June and embarked on a month-long orgy of mulberry picking and juicing, resulting in hideously stained fingers and 11 quarts of mulberry juice canned and stored in the cellar. But really now, what kind of weirdo does that?

Besides me, I mean.

Yes, I am now reaping the rewards of my attack of mulberry-juicing insanity. I've been drinking it two ways: virginally (mixed with seltzer) and . . . whorishly? No. Ummm, skankily? No, that's not right either. Okay, with and without alcohol. The alcohol in this case being vodka, because I bought some to make a pasta sauce, except I'm not making that pasta sauce until Saturday, and now I fear the small bottle of vodka I purchased for this purpose may not last until Saturday. How embarrassing. (Just kidding, friends who are expecting pasta sauce with vodka tomorrow night! I promise I'll bring the pasta sauce! Even if I have to buy another bottle . . .)

So here's the cocktail: vodka, mulberry juice, seltzer, ice. I can't even tell you how good it is. You can't even taste the vodka! Which means you could get completely shit-faced and not even realize it! Be warned.

BUT ANYWAY.

I really came here today seeking your help. You see, there has been some disagreement amongst the inhabitants of Blackrock as to the name of this new cocktail. The MiL informed me that what I had made was basically a Cosmopolitan, except with mulberry juice instead of cranberry juice. She then said that since the opposite of "cosmopolitan" is "provincial," this new cocktail should be christened "The Provincial."

I said, "Nah. It doesn't speak to me."

Or words to that effect.

Last night, just as I was dropping off to sleep, I woke up and exclaimed to an already-asleep-A., "Hey! I think that drink should be called 'The Country Bumpkin'." (Like the song*--geddit?)

He said, "Clever. Go to sleep."

Or words to that effect.

So I appeal to you, my ultra-clever and often hilariously amusing readers: Give that cocktail a name. You could go down in bartending history! Or you could just remain an obscure commenter on this obscure site, but whatever. I want to hear some creativity! I want to hear some puns! I want to hear a clever name!

GO!

* Incidentally, more people have found my site by Googling various phrases from this song than any other search term. I find this a little bit weird. Apparently, there is a dearth of information on the Internet about this song.