There are two things in life you can count on: death and taxes. Today, I will deal with the taxes. Death should hold off for awhile yet. Unless I stab myself through the heart with my pencil in a fit of despair at the futility of filling out tax forms. I'm not ruling it out.
I think I am possibly the only person in America under the age of 75 who still does my taxes by hand. On paper. With a pen and calculator. This gets increasingly difficult every year as our income increases and we have more investments/dividends/capital gains/things that require one more separate goddamn form to be filed. But still, I do not give in and use an accountant or one of the software programs. And why not? Because I'm stubborn and I feel a great sense of being ripped off every time I do our taxes.
Here's the thing. I don't actually mind paying the taxes (that's a lie, of course, but it's the least of the rage-inducing aspects of the whole thing). I have some problems with how my tax money is spent, and I have some REAL problems with the fact that not only is the government (federal and state) taking my money, but they expect ME to tell THEM how much I owe. AND, should I fail to navigate the labyrinthine tax code correctly and make a mistake, they will fine me more money. AND THEN I'm supposed to pony up EXTRA money to pay an accountant or buy software to do this?!
Okay. Pause. Breathe. I can feel my blood pressure increasing. So you see, I approach this whole thing with a bad attitude, which is not alleviated in the least by the fact that every single time I sit down to do the taxes, I find that there's one more form I didn't know I needed. At least this year we're online at home, so I can just print the damned things out right away instead of hauling my ass down to the library to print them.
Doing The Taxes is an American tradition. Definitely not as fun as fireworks on the Fourth of July or singing the National Anthem before baseball games, but an American tradition nonetheless. So tell me, my fellow Americans: How do you handle doing your taxes?
My god, woman, is there anything you can't do?!
ReplyDeleteI don't know much, but I know what I don't know. I don't color my own hair and I don't do my own taxes. Both would surely result in horror.
Yeah, one of the joys of owning a farm and being partially self-employed and all that. My parents go through that hell every year, but at least they have an accountant to help them through it. I wonder if it would relieve more of your stress to have an accountant, or to have to pay for one!
ReplyDeleteWe started having an accountant do our taxes when Mr Chiots was a minister (talk about screwed up tax laws, check out what you have to do for ministers & missionaries).
ReplyDeleteWe have a very talented accountant take care of ours now. For me it's so worth it having him fill out the hundreds of forms, keep track of my depreciations schedules, equipment sale forms, etc. etc. etc. I'm more than happy to support his business so I can spend my time doing my work. I figure I'm actually making more money by working on my projects than trying to figure out my taxes. I'll gladly pay my accountant whatever he charges for peace of mind and a good night's sleep during the tax season.
I had my tax meeting Feb 2 and I haven't thought about taxes since. I know my accountant is hard at work trying to get me the best deal on my taxes (legally of course).
My Dad does them still by hand. We just stay out of his way during that time. It takes him about a week to gather it all, fill it out, get the forms and then recheck his work. I think that he likes to get cranky at the IRS. He says that when you do your own taxes then you really understand the vaule of a doller.
ReplyDeleteI am lame and have never, ever done my own taxes. My dad did them for me throughout high school and college, and then I got married to a man who takes out all the trash, kills all the bugs, and does all the taxes. Admitting all this makes me feel like a delicate little flower who cannot drive after dark. Heh.
ReplyDeleteI do ours by hand first to get a rough idea, then I try it with a program. My college degree was in accounting but the tax classes were many moons ago and I was not a tax accountant. Therefore I too know my limitations and accept them (ha! how often can I honestly say THAT about myself? lol) as I see the software tell me about the education expense deductions I can take that I did not know about. Working FT and going to school FT does not leave much time for reading up on the tax code changes so I don't feel too badly about paying for the on-line program/software.
ReplyDeleteI like to know how something is done anyway so I'd want to see how all that info results in a tax tally, but you might want to run your numbers through a tax program on-line (the kind where you only have to pay for the state return or something) to see if they can come up with something you would have missed. That way you do your federal return first, see that you are totally on top of it and don't need to do the state taxes on it and don't have to pay a penny. What they're counting on is that you will be so worn out at the idea of having to enter all that data again that you will gratefully pay the $15 or $20 for the program to import your federal info into the state tax return. It works for me because, like I said, they've saved me enough in education expenses that it's worth it to me. Now that I'm through with school, though, it may be a different story once I have more time to read up on the tax code.
I'm still using a method I developed completely by accident. Start by spending the first eight years of your working life in the military, in jobs that most civilian employers don't know a thing about. Then get married to someone who, like you, has college loans that have been on deferment -- her until she finished school, me while I was active duty.
ReplyDeleteThen buy a house and start having kids. Make sure the house is so small you need to move when the second kid comes along.
How is all this a tax strategy, you may ask? Simple. I don't have to worry about capital gains, investment income, offshore tax shelters or any of that stuff.
The worst return I ever had to fill out was '98. During that year I:
left the military;
which means my state of residence changed;
and I had to start paying state tax (PA doesn't assess state tax on active duty service outside the state);
and I was now a resident of a state that has federal, state and local taxes;
and I lived in one local tax region and worked in another;
and I got married;
and my wife worked a job that forced her to file in twelve (TWELVE) local tax regions;
and I bought a house.
Yeah, that was a painful several weeks working on that.
TaxCut. I have nothing, so I've already done them, e-filed them, and am waiting for refund to be direct deposited. Now I'll have to do my sister's and mother's taxes for them, though. What do I get in return, you ask? Nothing. It really doesn't seem fair. Worse than having to do my own taxes.
ReplyDeleteMy situation is pretty simple, so I use TaxAct (free filing for Federal, 16 bucks for State) It's worked great the last three years and takes only about half an hour for me. I always did my taxes by hand before this, but now I'm a convert.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby does ours...by hand, with a calculator and pencil...and then mails it in. Yes you are not the only one.
ReplyDeleteEvery year he sits at the desk fuming abou the stupid government, the stupid IRS, the stupid things they spend our hard earned money on and how if he was king he would ablolish the IRS and go to a flat tax...less than 10% mind you because the government should never get more than God!
Good luck! Kim
I put everything in a pile, answer a couple of the Kid's questions, and send him on his merry way.
ReplyDeleteThe last time I did taxes (1995), I almost became a Republican so it's better if I leave it alone.
I give all the paperwork to the accountant and then ask Bubba to kindly restrain me so that I don't murder her in a flash of misdirected rage.
ReplyDeleteIt's not a happy time in our house.
We are farmers and work off the farm. And have investments. And loans.
ReplyDeleteFarming alone made us run to an accountant the year my FIL passed away and Dh was the sole farmer of all the acres and dealt with all the landlords.
I have been doing the data entry for at least 10 years now, using Quicken, and then filling out the worksheet our CPA uses. Dh takes care of the complicated banking/investment/401k/etc stuff. Between the 3 of us, we get it done.
But it's never fun & I'm always glad when I mail off that manila envelope.
And it stinks that farmers have to have theirs in my March 1st! booo
I let my husband do them. I save the year's receipts, hand them to him in a shoebox, make sure there's plenty of coffee, and stay out of the way. He uses TurboTax; we're retired, have some small business income, and deductions. I am *not* mathematically oriented, and besides, there's no sense in both of us being pissed at the government (any more than we usually are).
ReplyDeleteI wimp out and take them to the accountant we've been using for years and years!
ReplyDeleteSoftware (we use turbotax) still lets you enter the numbers. I like that it makes deductions simple for charitable donations. You'll get the rebate back sooner, too, than you would with paper filing.
ReplyDeleteThat is what I do on New Years Day, by hand. Farm partnership taxes and personal. Note that I do not finish them that day!
ReplyDelete