Tuesday, April 14, 2009

A Matter of Life and Death

WARNING: This post is about killing a rooster. There are no photos (you're welcome!), but if the idea squicks you out too much, do not read further.

As for the rest of you bloodthirsty hooligans: Read on!

Remember the chickens? Yeah, I haven't been talking about them much. The hens are still laying eggs, and they're all just going about their chicken business, doing chicken things. In case you forgot, we had four chickens left from the six that the MiL brought home last August. After a couple of unfortunate incidents reduced the flock, we were left with two hens and two roosters. We knew this was not going to be a permanent situation. We knew we would have to get rid of one of the roosters.

Roosters are not nice. All they want to do is jump hens and strut around. And when there are two roosters fighting over only two hens, things get ugly. Ugly in the sense that the hens were spending all their time trying to run away from the battling roosters, getting the feathers on their backs ripped out, and becoming wild-eyed and crazed from constant, um, lustful attentions.

Things were out of hand. And I wasn't going to stand for it any longer.

On Friday night I shut the chickens in their coop without any food. On Saturday morning, A. went into the coop, and after a lot of frankly hilarious squawking (from the chickens), cussing (from A.), and a scratch from a rooster spur (on A.), he caught the rooster we had determined needed to go. We had a block of wood set up right outside the coop, so he laid the rooster out with its head on the block, told me to grab its body around the wings, then cut its head off with a cleaver. Then he told me to let go of it. So I did.

You've heard the phrase, "Running around like a chicken with its head cut off," right? Right. They don't so much run as flop. And the beak on the severed head still opens and closes. It's a freak show, all right. It only flopped for a minute, though. Then A. dunked it in hot water to scald it, and then we plucked it. I found the plucking to be more distasteful than the actual beheading.

Then A. whacked off the tail, legs, and wings, and cleaned out the inside. And then, we lit a paper bag on fire and used it to singe off the little tiny feathers that can't be plucked.

Then I went to a wedding shower. I lead a dual life.

While the MiL and I were at the wedding shower, A. roasted the chicken. We ate it for dinner. It was really, really interesting to me how dark the meat was on the legs. Like, really dark. Darker even than the turkeys we used to raise and kill for Thanksgiving. The meat was very flavorful and juicy, though a wee bit tough. The MiL was of the opinion that any chicken over 6 months old should be stewed. But it was still good. It was the first time I had ever eaten a chicken that had never been frozen. Also the first time I had ever assisted in the killing of my own dinner (pulling up vegetables doesn't count).

So did it bother me? Not so much. That rooster was just asking for it, the nasty bugger. I didn't feel the least bit bad. In fact, I dedicated that chicken dinner to Penny and Poppy, the hens. Things are much calmer and happier in the chicken yard now. And I got a chicken dinner out of it, so I say, good deal.

Thus ends the bloodshed. Tomorrow I promise I'll post a puppy or lamb picture. So you have that to look forward to. Have a fabulous day, duckies!

14 comments:

  1. Sounds like a fun way to spend a day. My mom used to slaughter her own chickens when they lived in the jungle (in South America). She finally realized she could get a local woman to do it for free if she gave them the head, feet and insides, what a deal since my mom didn't want those parts anyways.

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  2. Sounds like a great dinner. If you ever find yourself with a rooster again, they make a great coq au vin or similarly slow cooked dish. (It will help with the toughness.) I don't like plucking either- it's a pain!

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  3. Yes. coq au vin is a great idea. Especially using Julia Child's recipe.
    That would have required Kristin or me to cook it, though -- Adam is the roaster.

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  4. Winner winner, chicken dinner! This reminds me of when my dad killed our rooster when we were kids. For some reason, I remember it actually running around, but it's been a few (like 26) years, so I could be remembering things differently than they actually occurred. I was happy to see it go, too, because this rooster was a mean old bastard and he had attacked me a few weeks earlier. I really don't like roosters.

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  5. FYI: I did not read further. Thank you for the warning.

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  6. The meat is really dark, I think becuase they are not caged even the breast meat is dark. My understanding is that a pressure cooker works wonders on old hens and naughty roosters.

    My friends husband has a saying about critters somethings just ask to die! We have tow rooster with our hens and the first time one of them attacks a person (especially one of the kids)...all I can say is Chicken & Dumplings!

    K

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  7. "Then I went to a wedding shower. I lead a dual life."

    a chicken serial killer. dr. jykel and mr. hyde? perhaps.

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  8. So, too cheesy to summarize this as, "Winner, winner, Chicken Dinner!"?

    I mean, it does sound like you and the hens won out in this case and there was certainly a chicken dinner involved.

    I have to justify my cheesiness.

    Congrats on your dual life, Mrs. Bond.

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  9. Best story ever!

    No kidding. My mom tells stories of her grandmother wringing a chicken's neck, then frying it up for breakfast. All in a morning's work.

    We've become a nation of wussies. Thank god you're bucking the trend.

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  10. I bet Penny and Popper are pleased and if you offered them a bit of skin from Mr. McNasty Rooster they would eat it with pleasure. I've always been told that to decrease toughness you should let a fresh killed chicken chill for 24 hours before cooking. Personally I would just stick him in a pressure cooker for 20 min. That is some tender meat then. My favorite way to eat tough birds is make chicken soup... yum!

    Sheila Z

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  11. "Then I went to a wedding shower. I lead a dual life." Genius! I think I'd have enjoyed that horny, beaky creature for dinner, too. Maybe a coq au vin?

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  12. Well, hell. Obviously I'm without some crucial cells and should learn to read the comments BEFORE I comment.

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  13. We used to kill and eat our own chickens quite a bit when I was a young 'un back in the 80's (the 1980's, that is) and after a couple of times plucking them, my dad decided to just skin them every time. So we'd do the whole chopping block routine (he also didn't like them flopping around the yard, so he'd put on rubber boots and just hold them between his lower legs after the chop until the flopping stopped) and then just skin 'em right there. I recall it as being MUCH easier than plucking.

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  14. You mean it didn't run around and ultimately go on tour like Mike the headless rooster on The Natural History of the Chicken?

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