Video number four last night in the continuing series of Birth Videos I Mostly Ignore featured Bryce, Joyce, and their C-section. Obviously, I averted my eyes during the part where they were slicing into Joyce like a high school biology lab specimen, but there was a lot that happened before that. Poor Joyce basically went through her entire labor before they decided a C-section was necessary, so there were many fun shots of Joyce whimpering and crying and screaming . . . you know, all the beautiful and amazing things we all look forward to in the process of Creating New Life.
ANYWAY.
I don't know how my labor will progress. I also don't know how I'll react to it really. I did, however, learn one thing from that video last night that I am almost sure is NOT going to be involved in my experience, just based on my own understanding of my personality. And I have Bryce to thank for this knowledge.
Bryce was of the opinion that the most helpful thing he did while his partner was in labor was keep her focused on him. All well and good, but he did this by actually touching foreheads with Joyce, so that he was quite literally in her face.
Now. I love my husband. I want him there for the birth of our son, and I want his support. But I told A. that if he takes Bryce's advice and grabs my head in his hands to get nose to nose with me during a contraction, I will punch him dead in the face.
Fair warning.
Bryce probably has a few issues himself....don't 'cha 'magin' ?
ReplyDeleteDo you know any manly men named 'Bryce' ? Isn't that funny how that works out?
I have this feeling since you have really done so well through this pregnancy that you will breeze through a very short labor.
I wish that for you anyway.
Beth
Haha! Actually, see if you can get Bryce to be in the room with you. Punching someone in the face might actually help with contractions.
ReplyDeleteThe father of my children got to close to me during a the end stage of labor with our first son. I bit the holy bejesus our of his left thigh. He actually did not move and I had no clue I was doing it. We took a picture later. Needless to say he stayed far enough away from me when our other two were born.
ReplyDeleteAll I said during the hard parts was "get it out". It was a lovely, heart warming mantra. As for those movies, forget them now. I found the pregnancy itself to be harder then the labor. Just realize that it will end and you'll have your sweet baby to hold.
ReplyDeleteWell, back in my day (my twins are 36 years old), they didn't have all these goofy classes and videos. Yes, I agree, some education is a good thing. But this Bryce character went way too far! Not sure I recommend that video to a new mom!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that eons ago when I birthed babies there were no videos. I couldn't have endured them.
ReplyDeleteFor my money, the SCHEDULED c-section is the way to go. No labor, no hovering daddy, just a needle in the back, one little slice, and you're good to go.
By the way, I feel compelled to point out I had c-sections because my breech babies were extremely uncooperative. I do not get this trend toward c-sections for convenience sake.
I actually threatened my husband at one of my birthing experiences with a scalpel...told him if he got that close to me again I would personally preform a vasectomy right then and there. He then participated in the blessed even from a polite (and safe) distance. Kim
ReplyDeleteKristin, I love your posts but I have to admit, today, I got a really bigger thrill out of reading your readers' comments!!!
ReplyDeleteNow you make SURE someone lets us know when the man-cub arrives!!!
Nothing a good head butt won't cure - you won't need your hands. :>) Good luck.
ReplyDelete(Hee, hee. Word verification gave me this: "mouron") Perhaps aimed at "Bryce"?
27 years ago when my son was born,there was just my husband(who was very well behaved,and held me hand)A doctor and mid-wife at the birth...however !!! Moments before delivery,I sat up for the final pushes to find at least 12 other people at the foot of my bed,looking at me!
ReplyDeleteIt was a training hospital,and just before a baby is born they ring a bell so all students (that apparently need to witness so may births) can come in and watch...would have been nice to tell me that!!!
A friend of mine was told ,as she was being wheeled into the delivery room.."Leave your dignity at the door ,and pick it up on the way out" LOL,how true :0)
Hahahaha! My manager at work and his wife are about to have their first baby, too, so they are going to baby class once a week and are watching the videos, too. Apparently their nurse/teacher keeps reminding them that these are women who are having natural childbirth, because "if we showed you videos of women who have had epidurals, it would just be a bunch of people waving at the camera."
ReplyDeleteVerification word: ously... How Kristin will feel if A. gets in her face during labor... or maybe how A. will feel after Kristin punches him in the face.
It's like the Cosby Childbirth routine: "She grabbed my lower lip, pulled it over my head...."
ReplyDeleteword verification: volly -- what you do with any extra latex gloves in the labor room for a distraction
Holy cow. I think I would faint if I saw a c section. *goes to search youtube*
ReplyDeleteAwesome.
ReplyDeleteHey, fair warning.
ReplyDeleteYou may get a case of the "Labor Headbutts", and then where would he be?
Recooping in the ER, I'd imagine.