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Okay, I have a confession: I bought a pair of skinny jeans.

I KNOW. I am a thirty-four-year-old mother of two children. Are skinny jeans a ridiculous choice for me? Probably. But dammit all if they don't look really good on me.

So. I bought them. Now we shall see if I can actually wear them in public without feeling like a complete toolbox.

I also attempted to buy a hair clip. Just a nice, normal hair clip, of the sort that lies flat on the head and has a metal clasp on it to hold the hair back. You know those ones that look kind of like a really big barrette? You know the ones.

So I went into Claire's to find one. Claire's is that chain store in malls that caters to little girls, where you can get your ears pierced with a FREE PAIR OF EARRINGS INCLUDED!

Their advertising involves a lot of caps and exclamation points. It's that kind of place.

I explained what I wanted to the very young salesperson, who looked a little confused and said, "Like, for you?"

Yes. Yes, like, for me, the haggard old lady standing in front of you in (the horror!) bootcut jeans.

Little did she know there were skinny jeans in the bag I was carrying.

Anyway.

Once I answered in the affirmative that yes, the clip was for me, she said, "The only ones we have are these, and I don't think they're what you're looking for."

Since the clips she was referring to had gigantic neon-pink bows attached to them, I had to agree.

I might be able to get away with the skinny jeans, but bows like that in my hair would be a little much.