The corn is bigger than me.
The volunteer squash plant and the cucumbers are plotting together against me.
There could be Cabbage Patch Kids hiding in these monstrous cabbages. There could be ANYTHING hiding in these monstrous cabbages.
God knows what lurks in the potato forest.
And the Roma tomatoes are all joining forces to overthrow me.
Send help. My garden is taking over.
P.S. There were many, many fun names suggested for the lawn tractor. There were even some non-English names. We're all about multi-culturalism here at "Going Country." But I think my favorite is the simple, yet venomous and punny, "Grasshole," submitted by my girl Jive Turkey. I shall christen Grasshole tonight with a bottle of beer over his hood, thereby drenching his engine and causing a massive fire that will tragically end his life. If only . . .
Thanks for all the suggestions, y'all. I always knew my readers were cleverer than the average bear.
Yay! Well, I have always known that my talents in this world are 1) spelling, 2) gift-wrapping, and 3) creating vaguely profane nick-names for things. All extremely marketable skills.
ReplyDeleteGood pick. You going to paint the name on her? Or is he a him?
ReplyDeleteLet me know when the tomatoes are in and I'll show up with the macaroni salad. No, wait, I'll show up with the basil, garlic, and pasta roller. You provide the flour and eggs.
Wait, eggs ... you don't have any chickens, do you? Sorry, I don't think you can call yourself a woodchuck if you don't have chickens roaming the yard and house.
Don't be scared. Embrace the garden love!
ReplyDeleteOh, and I didn't throw a name out there for your mower (which you should be scared of) because I really liked Grasshole. Good choice!
Something that's that much of a pain in the ass can only be a he. Apologies to the male readers, but that's just the way it goes.
ReplyDeleteNo chickens yet. They arrive August 7th. The coop is mostly done, and I will be sure to post pictures of the fried chicken on legs. Remember--NOT PETS.
The mention of Cabbage Patch Kids reminded me of their evil spin-off: Garbage Pail Kids. I seriously hope they're not lurking in your garden!
ReplyDeleteGive Grasshole a swift kick in the rear from me!
Wow. Now THAT'S a garden. I'm quite envious.
ReplyDeleteYour hard work pays off.
love the name too.
ReplyDeletemy strategy with the garden involves... just not looking at it. i always lose my mojo and passion for the whole thing right. about. now.
I look forward to the christening, but I think that Grasshole is strictly a PBR-in-a-can sort of machine. And thanks for the reminder, Drew--I'll dust off the pasta machine (which I haven't used since we had chickens years ago--oh yeah--but it'll be next spring before we get eggs.
ReplyDeleteLovely garden. I stumbled upon your blog via the Pioneer Woman's canning blog. Your garden is really lovely.
ReplyDelete