Hey, You--COME ON DOWN!

Today, I am Bob Barker* (NOT Drew Cary, because that ain't right) and you are all contestants on the Going Country edition of The Price Is Right. I KNOW--how exciting is this? It's always a party at G.C.!

So here's the deal. Yesterday I went to the farmers market in The Small City, where I purchased bell peppers. A lot of bell peppers.

This is a peck of unpickled peppers. Peter Piper had nothing to do with the picking.

That right there is an actual, honest-to-God peck, which is a quarter of a bushel. There are 25 peppers there, but I didn't weigh them all. They are all "seconds," meaning they have some kind of small blemish or deformity that does not affect their taste, but makes shallow and prissy people afraid to use them. Because I am neither shallow nor prissy, and because seconds are always cheaper, I actively seek them out. I always buy a peck in the fall to freeze and use over the winter.

And now, let's play THE PRICE IS RIGHT!! (WHOOOO!) In the comments, everyone take a guess as to how much that entire peck of peppers cost me, to the cent. Whoever gets closest to the actual price, without going over, wins. And you'll win . . . um . . . I'll announce the winner right here. USING MANY CAPS! And lots of exclamation points!!!!!!!! And I'll link to your blog.

Okay, so the "prize" is lame. Just play for the love of the game, okay?

GO!

* Remember that scene in "Happy Gilmore" where Happy and Bob have a fight and Bob kicks the shit out of Happy? And then Bob says, "The price is WRONG, bitch!" That pretty much cemented my love for Bob Barker.

Update: Oh, wait! No! It's HAPPY who says, "The price is WRONG, bitch," and then later, when Bob finishes him off, then BOB says, "Now you've had enough. Bitch." Oops. The important point here though is that Bob Barker said "bitch." That's comedy gold, right there.