I'll allow you to insert your own inappropriate "wood" joke here.
But wait! What's this? Is this . . . unstacked wood?
No, "unstacked wood" is not a euphemism for anything else, you dirty birdie.
Yes, it is indeed unstacked wood. Those are all the pieces that are too big and need to be split more. I admit that I am something of a tyrant about having small pieces so I don't have to try to angle and jam them in the woodstove, thereby branding my forearms on the stove, but these are just ridiculous. We seem to have gotten a lot of big chunks this year. A. is convinced that we end up with more wood in total when the pieces are bigger. I'm glad he's happy, since he's the one who's going to be splitting it. I would split it, but the splitting maul weighs 20 pounds and I can only split a few pieces before my wrists give out. The splitting maul is not a tool for the ladies, as A. is so fond of repeating (in an accent that is supposed to mimic Arnold Schwarzenegger, but really sounds nothing like him because A. has the worst ear for accents ever).
And what's this over here? It's . . . a mini-wood pile?
It's like Mini Me! Except not creepy.
I made a pile of smaller pieces, as well as a container of kindling. Every morning last winter, we (often I) would stand over the woodstove, trying to get it going from whatever embers remained from the night before. We didn't have any kindling, so we'd be digging through the woodpile first thing in the morning, trying to find the smallest, driest pieces to try to get the fire going without the billows of smoke that normally accompanied this process. I figured I could save myself a lot of sleepy cussing by having the kindling handy and dry, as well as smaller pieces so I don't have to chunk on some large piece, thereby suffocating the fire and putting it out, resulting in more cussing.
There was a lot of cussing.
In other news yesterday, I raked up acres of leaves, started the biggest, fastest-burning burn-pile burn ever (yeah, it was pretty rad), and discovered Mia eating a dead chicken. I don't know if she killed it, but since she's the one I found with it on the front lawn, she's the prime suspect. The chicken must have flown out of the fenced-in area. A fatal mistake. And of course, it was a hen. So we're down to four chickens, only one of which we're sure is a hen. I don't think we'll be having a lot of eggs in the near future.
What I did not do yesterday is can pears. But it's first on my agenda today. What an exciting life I lead.
Well, you can't can eggs anyway. OR CAN YOU??
ReplyDeleteSo, when you have fresh eggs, how do you know how long they'll keep? I cannot function without the grocery store telling me what to do via printed expiration dates.
Hmmm. The "now I can't raise my arms above my head" comment made me think of John McCain... but I can't come up with a joke that doesn't sound disrespectful. Not that I'm a McCain fan or anything, but I just can't bring myself to make jokes about why he can't raise his arms above his head, either.
ReplyDeletePoor chicken...
ReplyDeleteAnd to rls, we can respect John McCain for the sacrifices he made for our country - and still think he's a giant tool. It's OK.
Kristin, how could you sit around all day yesterday doing nothing when all those pears needed canning? Oh wait, you did all that other stuff. Never mind.
ReplyDeleteAnd Jive Turkey, when in doubt about expiration dates, I always call my mother. "Mom, there's something moldy in the fridge. Can I just cut off the mold and THEN eat it?" That sort of thing. I think they learn it in Mom School (you best crack those books open!).
Eggs are tricky, jiveturkey. Much depends on whether or not they have been washed prior to storage. The hen will deposit them in a nice, clean nest all coated with an invisible protective layer of something or other. If one does not wash the egg until immediately prior to use, it will keep in the refrigerator for a longer time than you want to think about. On the other hand, if you wash it, you should probably use it within two or three weeks. The fresher an egg is, the better (unless you want to hardboil it -- very fresh eggs don't peel well). Oh yes -- the shorter the interval between the hen and the refrigerator, the longer the egg will keep. If you are in doubt about your eggs, put them in a pan of water. If they float to the top, they are old.
ReplyDeleteIt amuses me to think about how people still talk about the smell of rotten eggs, but I bet virtually no one has ever actually smelled a rotten egg. Believe me, you don't want to!
5 face cords of wood? Stacked? STUD!
ReplyDeleteOr whatever the girly equivalent is to "stud".
We are going on our second winter with the same one cord of wood from last year and I must say, it looks like we'll get pretty far with it.
Of course, we have no winter on par with yours and plus it's still Fn summer here.
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