Wednesday, December 31, 2008

A Tale of Four Chickens (and The Chicken Mistress)


In the beginning, there were chicks. The chicks were small and fluffy and vulnerable. They needed food and water, a heat lamp and shelter. As the chicks grew, some decided to fly free, leading to their untimely demise. Then there were four. And those four grew into big, splendid chickens, still requiring food and water, a heat lamp and shelter.


One of the cocks does indeed crow, but not just at dawn. More like whenever he's moved by the crowing spirit, which is all the damn time.


Every morning, The Chicken Mistress trudged up the lane to let the chickens out of their coop. And every evening she trudged up the lane again to shut them in safely for the night. When the weather turned bitter cold, The Chicken Mistress also carried fresh water every day to replace the water that had frozen in the night. The Chicken Mistress bought and carried 50 pound sacks of chicken feed, made sure the chickens had grit to aid their digestion, and faithfully turned the heat lamp on and off as needed so the chickens wouldn't freeze.

The Chicken Mistress did all of this with no expectation of any return on her labors in the near future. The Chicken Mistress (who is a novice Chicken Mistress and therefore does not know jack shit about chickens) was assured by The Chicken Gurus that chickens need lots of sunlight before they begin laying eggs, and so no eggs were expected until spring.

So imagine The Chicken Mistress's surprise when she went into the coop to check the water supply last night and damn near stepped on these:


Well, slap my ass and call me The Chicken Mistress. Them's EGGS.


P.S. The Chicken Mistress and her Chief Consort ate the eggs this morning and pronounced them good.

9 comments:

  1. Wow, two! Enjoy those fresh eggs! Our chickens are on sabbatical for the winter. Lazy freeloaders.

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  2. Congratulations, Chicken Mistress on your offspring by proxy. That you ate. Does Ella the lovebird lay eggs?

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  3. How exciting! I let a local farmer be my chicken mistress.

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  4. A former hair stylist with access to chickens recently gave me a dozen farm fresh eggs -- and they weren't, um, how should I say this, to my liking. Tasted like fish.

    I'm wondering if you have to watch what the chickens eat? Or if farm fresh eggs are a bit stronger in taste like venison is to beef?

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  5. Wow, congrats! My brother and his family have "urban chickens" in Fort Collins, CO and they got their first eggs on his birthday in October. So they promptly used them in a birthday cake.

    Magpie - back when we had chickens, I don't remember their eggs tasting *strongly* different than store-bought. You could definitely tell the difference - the fresh ones were, well, just fresher and eggier - but I don't recall them ever tasting like fish, or even ever tasting bad. My guess is that, yeah, it's from whatever those chickens are eating or drinking.

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  6. Your chickens are celebrating the solstice. They know we are on the other side of winter.

    Sheila

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  7. LOL...you are indeed a good chicken mistress. I must be doing something wrong, I've got 15 of the little buggers and no so much as one lone egg! Keep on, keeping on...and enjoy your fresh eggs. Kim

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  8. Well I don't think that Chicken Mistress is an accurate job title at this point. More like Chicken Pimp?

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  9. You are indeed the mistress of co-c-never mind. Chickens. I got it confused. Sorry. It was the word "consort" that got me mixed up.

    Happy new year though.

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