But Cubby said, "Screw you, Doc. I'm blowin' this pop stand NOW." Yes, Cubby is technically full-term today. We've had 11 days to observe this new small person and we have learned a few things already.
1) At the risk of sounding like one of those annoying parents who believes their child is above average in every way, I really must say that I think he's kind of freakishly strong. Granted, "strong" for a newborn means he can do exciting things like hold his head up for two seconds and bring his hands together in front of his face. But these things are actually mostly earmarked for several weeks down the road, so I think this may be an indication that the boy has inherited his father's frightening strength. This pleases me. It means that in a few years, he can be the one to hold the other end of whatever crazy heavy object A. decides to move. I'm retired.
1) At the risk of sounding like one of those annoying parents who believes their child is above average in every way, I really must say that I think he's kind of freakishly strong. Granted, "strong" for a newborn means he can do exciting things like hold his head up for two seconds and bring his hands together in front of his face. But these things are actually mostly earmarked for several weeks down the road, so I think this may be an indication that the boy has inherited his father's frightening strength. This pleases me. It means that in a few years, he can be the one to hold the other end of whatever crazy heavy object A. decides to move. I'm retired.
2) Cubby does not really deal in the quiet, pathetic cry. Cubby believes the best way to broadcast displeasure is to SHRIEK IN RAGE. That said, he doesn't cry much. Mostly when we have the temerity to change his soaking wet diaper.
3) He pees a lot. A LOT.
4) Once, in a spectacular display of bad timing, he managed to pee on his own face when I was changing him. I laughed at him. This may qualify me for the Bad Mother Club, but somehow it seemed only fitting that the perpetrator of so many urine-related indignities should get a taste (literally) of his own medicine.
And finally, though this has less to do with Cubby and more to do with me . . .
5) I never could have imagined what a thrill it would be to get back into my regular jeans and out of those irritating maternity pants. No more droopy drawers. Thank God.
My little brother peed in MY face once when I was changing him. Boys are fun!
ReplyDeleteHe is adorable and congratulations on the return to regular jeans!
I was all smug about dodging the projectile-pee bullet when I had a girl, and then...she projectile peed. Unfair.
ReplyDeleteHe is FREAKING ADORABLE. I want to pinch those cheeks! IEEEEE!
CONGRATULATIONS on losing the maternity tents after just 11 days! You, champion, you! Took me roughly 11 months. Not joking.
ReplyDeleteAnd, go Cubby Bunyan! Get that little man to work felling trees asap. He can make a good living in the country and support your ass for years to come.
Ah, I would have laughed too :) Bad mothers unite!
ReplyDeleteS.S.: I can't claim any credit. It's all because of this child's capacity to suck my life force away in the form of milk. He's eating me into my normal clothes. Thanks, little dude!
ReplyDeleteDo I actually see sun. Where was that sucker when you needed it last week! Obviously that's A. holding son. Large hand, small head. Really cute.
ReplyDeleteSuch cute chubby cheeks! I would have laughed too...boys are a pain to change! Hooray for pants fitting again- that is amazingly fast!
ReplyDeleteDid I ever tell you about the time Leif peed directly into my mouth? If not, remind me to. Turns out pee is very salty. Iicckk!
ReplyDeleteYes, good for you fitting back into normal pants once again. And so quickly. Beth
ReplyDeleteword verification normat
mal's brother
Hi - I've been reading your blog for awhile and have never commented. Congrats on the birth of cubby and getting into normal jeans!!
ReplyDeleteI've had my youngest son not only pee on me, but poo on me both at the same time!! Didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but ended up on the floor in fits of laughter!
Cassie
http://cassandraben.blogspot.com/
Oh, yeah, I've been peed on. According to my mom, my little brother peed in his own ear once in the midst of a diaper change. Hee!
ReplyDeleteYou are already back in your jeans? Wow!! That adorable little guy is just perfect in every way.
ReplyDeleteSurely you realize how much we hate you for saying you're back in your jeans 11 DAYS POSTPARTUM. Way to raise the bar, there, mommy.
ReplyDeleteThe strength thing . . . you have no idea how much you'll love it. And not when he's 14, like you think. When he's 5, you might actually say "Hey Cubby, I'm pretty sure you can carry the other end of this sofa. Really. Show Mommy how strong you are."
Just sayin'
A midwife once told me that babies born to mothers who took no pain medication are not only more alert but also are stronger earlier. Don't know if this is true, but a lot of birth stories document it. Just saying. . .
ReplyDeleteCertificate of Live Birth in the back ground. Documentation so Cubby can run for President someday?
ReplyDeleteOMG, look at that little cutie! You must be so happy and rightfully so. Congratulations on this bundle of joy. I'm thrilled for you!!!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! He's adorable! A friend of mine once told me, and I think she told me true, that there is no man anywhere who didn't once pee in his mother's face when he was a baby.
ReplyDeleteWord to the wise for the coming months: If you haven't already, get into the habit of placing him with his feet pointing to your left or right as you diaper him. This is the voice of experience speaking. Soon, it won't just be projectile peeing, and you'll regret it deeply if you're still diapering with his feet pointing at you.