Place Your Bets Now

I'm taking Cubby to the pediatrician later today for his six-month appointment. And yes, in case you were wondering, he is actually closer to seven months, the delay being the result of the INCREDIBLE INEPTITUDE of the office staff at this doctor's office. Man, those people are annoying. I really need to see if the only other pediatrician in the Small City that takes our insurance is accepting new patients.

ANYWAY.

Doctor visits are very exciting for Cubby, of course, who relishes the opportunity to projectile poop and get needles jabbed into his squishy thighs. But they are even MORE exciting for the rest of us, who eagerly await the results of the weigh-in.

They do other things, of course--measuring his head, seeing how tall he is--but the weigh-in is all that anyone cares about. Because, you see, we do not have a scale. Well, we have a kitchen scale, but as it only goes to 11 pounds, it's not much use in weighing the Giant Infant. So between doctor's appointments, we can only guess how much Cubby weighs. And people ask us ALL THE TIME how much he weighs. Because he weighs a lot, and anytime anyone hefts him up, they invariably exclaim, "Wow! Such a big boy! How much does he weigh?" So it's nice to have a number to give them.

The estimates from various family members for this visit range from 22 pounds to 26 pounds. They are all awaiting the official number with great excitement. I, however, am not so excited to know how much he actually weighs. I figure all I need to know is that he weighs too much for me to hold for very long without significant muscle pain. Actually knowing that it's, like, 24 pounds or something will just make him seem that much heavier. And it's not like I have a choice in the holding of him. Other people can hold him for thirty seconds and then be all, "Woah, he's getting heavy. Here, Mom!" and then pass him back to me. I don't get to pass him off, however. So as long as I can pretend he's still under 20 pounds (HAHAHAHAHAHA--no), I can trick myself into believing that it is still possible for me to continue hauling him around for the next two months without physical injury. Or however long it takes him to start walking.

So how giant is the Giant Infant now? Stay tuned to find out!