Monday, April 1, 2013

This Breaking Up? Not Hard To Do

My relationship with liver thus far has been something like an unsuccessful attempt at dating. I keep trying. I keep thinking this time will be different. This is deer liver! Totally different from the previous disaster with beef liver! THIS liver will be The One.

And then it's a disappointment.

I thought the same with chicken livers. Nope. No go. Then I tried lamb liver. GROSS.

My most recent freezer inventory and the discovery of package upon package of beef liver made me mad about all the meat in there that we weren't eating. And determined to try ONE MORE TIME to find a way to make my relationship with liver work.

Despite eating it (well, one bite of it, anyway) on multiple occasions, I've never actually cooked it myself. So I thought if I found a recipe that looked good to me and made it myself, maybe this time would be different.

Oh, what a hopeful fool I am.

I found a recipe in a German cookbook we have that involved onions, mushrooms, thyme, and sour cream. Those are all winners. Anything made with those will have a good sauce at least. The recipe said to soak the liver pieces in milk first, presumably to subdue the flavor.

I pulled the liver out of the package with trepidation, this being the first time I've ever actually handled it raw.

It was squishy and slippery and the smell of it was completely repellent to me.

Ignoring these warning signs and holding my breath, I gamely cut it into squares and covered the squares with milk. Then I left it there for an hour to soak and turn the milk a really unappealing shade of pink.

As instructed, I cooked the onions and the mushrooms. They, unlike the liver, smelled delicious. I took the liver out of the milk and dried it thoroughly. I seared it in a hot pan. It didn't smell like death anymore, so I allowed myself to think optimistic thoughts about how the milk soak was the secret! THIS TIME WILL BE DIFFERENT!

It was not different. It was still liver. It still had an unpleasantly soft yet gritty texture and a really disgusting taste that seemed to coat my tongue and linger even after I rinsed my mouth out with water.

The sauce was delicious, though. I ate the mushrooms and onions over mashed potatoes.

I've tried and tried and I just can't make it work. Liver and I are breaking up. It's not you, liver; it's me. I'm sorry, but we're done. Forever.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's always a joyful day for me when yet another human turns her back forever on liver in all forms. Perhaps, someday, animals will learn to arrive without livers so we need not deal with that nasty piece of meat...

MomMech said...

The only really good use I've known for a liver is a treat for the dogs or cats. Otherwise it is useless as food. Just too disgusting.

edh said...

I have a great recipe for liver; this one will convert you forever! Remove liver from package, cut into reasonably sized pieces, place carefully on top of your dogs' supper dish. Or, you know, cut open the package and dump the whole nasty mess into the dish. I promise, this will repare your relationship forever.

edh said...

I have a great recipe for liver; this one will convert you forever! Remove liver from package, cut into reasonably sized pieces, place carefully on top of your dogs' supper dish. Or, you know, cut open the package and dump the whole nasty mess into the dish. I promise, this will repare your relationship forever.

Sherry said...

I'm with you. I'd starve to death before I would eat the stuff.

tu mere said...

Your experience is totally shared. Holy loved it, and no matter how much Duchess tried to convert me, I never could even stand the smell of it cooking. No great loss considering its function in the body and other drawbacks. You do get kudos for trying so hard.

Anonymous said...

You think that liver is bad? Have you tried kidneys?

Kristin @ Going Country said...

Anonymous: Why, yes, I have had kidneys. From the lambs. They are indeed disgusting. To me, anyway. With the exception of the heart, no innards for me.

Anonymous said...

Amen sister.
- Moi

Sister’s Sailor said...

In my experience, chicken livers are great for fishing....other livers work great for trapping!

Jen Anderson said...

I've forgiven myself for my refusal to eat organ meat. Really I won't do it because I'm a big baby, but all the environmental toxins collect there, so it's probably the best.

So I don't eat liver. Except for pate. I'm only human.

Practical Parsimony said...

Have you tried calf liver in brown gravy and onions? Calf is better than beef liver. I refuse to eat chicken livers. Yuck!