Saturday, December 18, 2010

Going Walkabout

For unknown reasons, Otty and Leda have started wandering straight down the driveway and taking a little stroll to the village. It's kind of strange only because their usual route to run away involves going up back to scavenge for delicious rotting deer carcasses. But now they seem to want to mingle freely with the civilized people. Maybe they want to get coffee and a cookie at the market instead of tainted meat?


They have done this twice in the last few days. The first time, I didn't even know they were gone until an acquaintance of the MiL's pulled up in front of the house and let the two dogs out of her car. She had found them nearly at the market and, knowing whose dogs they were because she actually bought Leda's brother from the MiL, she loaded them in her car and brought them home.

Yesterday we got a call from a lady in the village to tell us the dogs were frolicking on her front lawn. The MiL went to retrieve them.

It's a little embarrassing to get calls like this (or visits from people delivering your dogs), but I have to say that one of the benefits of a small community where everyone knows everyone is that everyone also knows the collies. So they're never really lost, just temporarily misplaced until a neighbor calls to report their whereabouts.

It takes a village to keep track of errant collies.

Friday, December 17, 2010


I know I said I was going to stop counting, and I am, really. It's just that 1001 is so delightfully palindrome-ish. Although I don't think the word palindrome is applied to numbers usually, but WHATEVER, it's my site.

Moving on.

Good morning, duckies! And a very happy Friday to you. I would like to bring something to your attention today that just occurred to me this morning: Christmas is in a week.

I'm sure many of you are already aware of this fact, and technically I was too. But it still managed to kind of sneak up on me. I mean, really. A week? How in the hell did THAT happen? What happened to November? And half of December? This baby thing is messing with my concept of time.

We finally went to get our Christmas tree last weekend* and I managed to get it in the stand a couple of days ago. But now it's just sitting there, all naked and forlorn, awaiting a time when we're all home to actually decorate the thing. Maybe tonight. If it's lucky. I did finally manage to get to a store to purchase some stocking stuffers for the MiL (on Santa's orders, of course--I am but an obedient elf) when I was in the Small City on Tuesday for Cubby's flu shot.

But speaking of Cubby, his parents aren't getting him anything for Christmas this year.


I know. But he's ten months old, people. He has no concept of presents; he just wants to play with the delightfully crinkly wrapping paper. So we're taking advantage of the last year he's not going to expect anything for Christmas except our unending love and attention, with which he is showered every day of the year. Plus, I gave that kid the gift of life, so I think I'm entitled to a pass this year.

Anyway, I just bought him a large-sized sleep sack so he doesn't have to get stuffed into a too-small one every night, so I'll call that his Christmas present. What more could any child want, really?

So how are your holiday preparations coming? All done, all panicked, or all shocked that Christmas is in a week? (A week! I know!)

* I was going to tell you that story, but it really just went like this: Rainrainrain, slogging through half-melted snow to cut our little tree, rainrainrain, stuff the little tree in the trunk of the car because the truck was temporarily out of commission, drive home in the rainrainrain. FESTIVE!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

I'm Going To Stop Counting Now

All right, y'all. Let's just all stop whatever important activity we are engaged in right this second* and take a moment of silence to acknowledge post number 1,000.

Whether that moment acknowledges my doggedness, creativeness, and general bad-assery for posting every single day for over two years OR my narcissism, self-involvement, and general availability of free time for posting every single day for over two years is up to you.

Thanks for coming to my party. Carry on.

* Which for many of you should be actual work you are being paid for. Which means you're being paid to read this site. Rock on.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

A Little Song on a Special Day

To the Tune of "The Candy Man Can"

The woodchuck man
The woodchuck man can
The woodchuck man can
'Cause he uses what he has and makes it work for him

The woodchuck man
The woodchuck man can
The woodchuck man can
'Cause he uses what he has and makes it work for him

Happy birthday to A., my very own woodchuck man.

P.S. Feel free to contribute a verse to the song if you are so moved.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Second Verse, Same as the First

A little bit louder and a little bit worse*.

Why, it seems like just last week that I was talking about taking Cubby to the doctor and how bad the weather was.

Oh, right. It was just last week.

In fact, it was a week ago today. And I rescheduled his appointment for today. So of course, the weather had to go and get all shitty. It IS worse than last Tuesday in a way. That way being that it's significantly colder with a seriously awful wind. So the actual temperature is 15 degrees and with the windchill I'm guessing it feels more like 15 below.

But! There isn't nearly as much snow blowing around as there was last week, so I will brave the arctic and get Cubby to the doctor for his flu shot.

I just hope the car starts.

* Does anyone else know this song about Henry the eighth who married the widow next door? And why do I know this song? Was it a Dr. Demento song? Maybe that was where I learned it. Obviously, it was an important thing to keep in my brain for 20 years.

Monday, December 13, 2010

To Bed

No, not me. Although I did manage to actually stay in bed and sleep last night, so that's a plus.

No, I put the garden to bed this morning. I think I was actually supposed to put the garden to bed for the winter before winter was, you know, here. And despite the calendar telling me winter doesn't officially start until the 21st, it sure felt a hell of lot like winter outside this morning. Don't try telling me that 28 degrees with a howling wind and some snow isn't winter. Because I was OUT THERE and YES IT IS.

Stupid calendar.


So! Yes! The last attack of Garden Crazy occurred this morning, as I bolted outside to work as soon as Cubby went down for his first nap. I didn't stop to eat breakfast, even, because when Cubby goes down, I'd better go out if I want to get anything done. And I really needed to get this stuff done today, as our weather forecast is distinctly Wintery. Like, many feet of snow and single-digit temperatures Wintery. Starting tonight.

So, ass in gear and out to garden this morning to finally dig up the late-planted carrots (small and not really worthwhile) and potatoes (possibly got too cold and may not be usable, but we shall see). Plus I dug up a few leeks while I was out there, because if I have leeks in the house I can always find some way to use them. Then I hauled about eight wheelbarrow-loads of rotted hay to cover the remaining leeks and the row of parsnips so that the ground will not freeze solid around them, thereby rendering them pretty much useless as a winter crop.

The collards are still out there, too, but I didn't do anything with them.

Then I dragged myself and my running nose back inside, where I found that SURPRISE! Cubby never actually went to sleep after I put him down. But A. had him, so it was okay. And the garden is now ready for winter.

Sunday, December 12, 2010


There I was, at eleven o'clock last night, awake for no good reason. I don't know why I woke up after only sleeping a couple of hours, but I know why I couldn't go back to sleep--my stupid, irritating, crazy brain.

It just would not turn off. You may remember this is something of a habit with me. I was lying there running down my mental list of things I wanted to get done the next day, thinking that if it didn't rain too much maybe I could finally dig up the late potatoes in the garden and some leeks and oh those little carrots too . . . but then I would have to wait to take my shower because who wants to get all clean only to go out and dig in the mud . . . but then the dishes never got done so I would have to do those before my shower and that meant waiting until Cubby's last nap of the day and JESUS CHRIST my last shower was two days ago and I HAVE TO TAKE A SHOWER.

And then it was 12:45 a.m. and I was getting up to do the dishes. Because I was already mad about not getting to take a shower before my day even started and I certainly wasn't sleeping. So I figured I might as well get up and do something constructive.

That's how I came to be scrubbing pots at one in the morning. I got back into bed around 1:30 a.m. and finally fell asleep at two. I was up at 5:30 a.m. to feed Cubby and when he woke up for the day at seven I was feeling distinctly Unchipper.

But that clean kitchen sure was nice. And I took my shower. So there.