Well, in that case, you'd best go somewhere else.
But! If you want to celebrate Cinco de Mayo Blackrock-style, post-three-kids . . . well then. Look no further.
Taco meat with a toppings consisting of cheese, onions, tomatoes, and lime? Festive!*
It's kind of dumb that I insist on celebrating (in the loosest and lamest sense) Cinco de Mayo, considering I have zero Mexican ancestry. But then again, I'm only nominally southern, and I'm pretty stubborn about the New Year's Day health, wealth, and happiness, so what the hell. We take our traditions where we can find them.
Feliz Cinco de Mayo, mis encantadores!
* Plus gin and lime, even though it's not Friday. Wild. Should've been tequila, but, well, I didn't have any and I don't really like tequila, so there you are.