From Bad to Worse

I have become something of a belated watcher of 1980s action cartoons. Specifically, Transformers, Voltron,  and He-Man. The only one I remember watching myself as a kid was He-Man, but A. remembers them all fondly and wanted to share them with our sons.

Thus, the boys have watched every single episode of all of them. And they are all terrible. Well, terrible for an adult, anyway. The kids love them. In order of terribleness, from bad to worse, I think it goes Transformers, then He-Man, and then Voltron is the cheesiest of the bunch.

But now I have seen the absolute worst, and it is Protectors of Universe.

No, it's not missing "the" in the title. Or rather, it is missing it, but it's like that on purpose, apparently. Because it turns out this is a 1983 South Korean knock-off of Voltron. I guess the "the" got lost in translation.

Cubby brought it home from school. He chose it from the prize box in his class, and he was very excited, explaining that it was Voltron's brother.

Yeah, Voltron's inferior and highly irritating brother.

The animation is terrible. The story--such as it is--is abysmal. And the English dubbing is absolutely laughable. Only not very funny.

But it has the requisite blasting sounds and action scenes, and so the boys have actually watched the worst movie in the entire world.

And so have I. Ugh.