It's Friday! And that means it's all about the liquor today.
Specifically, it's all about a new cocktail I invented. Well, I think I invented it. It's possible that it is well-known among bartenders (or mixologists, if you want to be all irritating and pretentious--which I don't). Except how many bartenders have access to mulberry juice? None. Unless they lost their minds right about the end of June and embarked on a month-long orgy of mulberry picking and juicing, resulting in hideously stained fingers and 11 quarts of mulberry juice canned and stored in the cellar. But really now, what kind of weirdo does that?
Besides me, I mean.
Yes, I am now reaping the rewards of my attack of mulberry-juicing insanity. I've been drinking it two ways: virginally (mixed with seltzer) and . . . whorishly? No. Ummm, skankily? No, that's not right either. Okay, with and without alcohol. The alcohol in this case being vodka, because I bought some to make a pasta sauce, except I'm not making that pasta sauce until Saturday, and now I fear the small bottle of vodka I purchased for this purpose may not last until Saturday. How embarrassing. (Just kidding, friends who are expecting pasta sauce with vodka tomorrow night! I promise I'll bring the pasta sauce! Even if I have to buy another bottle . . .)
So here's the cocktail: vodka, mulberry juice, seltzer, ice. I can't even tell you how good it is. You can't even taste the vodka! Which means you could get completely shit-faced and not even realize it! Be warned.
BUT ANYWAY.
I really came here today seeking your help. You see, there has been some disagreement amongst the inhabitants of Blackrock as to the name of this new cocktail. The MiL informed me that what I had made was basically a Cosmopolitan, except with mulberry juice instead of cranberry juice. She then said that since the opposite of "cosmopolitan" is "provincial," this new cocktail should be christened "The Provincial."
I said, "Nah. It doesn't speak to me."
Or words to that effect.
Last night, just as I was dropping off to sleep, I woke up and exclaimed to an already-asleep-A., "Hey! I think that drink should be called 'The Country Bumpkin'." (Like the song*--geddit?)
He said, "Clever. Go to sleep."
Or words to that effect.
So I appeal to you, my ultra-clever and often hilariously amusing readers: Give that cocktail a name. You could go down in bartending history! Or you could just remain an obscure commenter on this obscure site, but whatever. I want to hear some creativity! I want to hear some puns! I want to hear a clever name!
GO!
* Incidentally, more people have found my site by Googling various phrases from this song than any other search term. I find this a little bit weird. Apparently, there is a dearth of information on the Internet about this song.
20 comments:
how 'bout "Mulberry Lane"
How about a MULligan since you'll want to have it over and over again?
Bed spring plow. It cracks me up that A does the driveway with bed springs! Can you get more country then that?
also with vodka you can really get plowed.
Ooo - I vote for "Mulligan." That's a good one. Besides, once you said 'cosmopolitan,' all I can think about is "The Continental."
http://video.yahoo.com/watch/148995/951695
How about "Here We Go 'Round the Mulberry Juice" for the name? Or how about not. That's just terrible. How about cosMULpolitan?
You should get yourself a bigger bottle of vodka. It really works with so many things. I can't wait to go home and have a drink now. Thanks, Kristin, for bringing out the alcoholic in me.
Doesn't a Cosmopolitan typically have a citrus element like Cointreau? I thought the cranberry/vodka drink was a Cape Cod?
That being said, I like Mulligan. No offense to "The Country Bumpkin" but I just can't stand cutesy names...
How about the Mullet-tini?
I love any kind of fresh juice mixed with vodka - it's a beautiful combination! Pear juice, meyer lemon syrup, blueberry juice...
I'll be no help with the name, but upon drinking the juice you brought over I said to Mark, "this summer we have to get mulberry's from kristin's. this would be SO GOOD with vodka!" No joke.
Mulberry juice is red, no?
I say call it a Redneck. That's the opposite of Cosmopolitan, no? Sorta?
;)
SweetBird, you're totally right. I couldn't get Kristin to put any orange in it. The mulberry tree is on a slope; so it could also be the Mulberry Slide. Or better yet, the
ConstantC should lend her name to the cocktail!: ConstantCatastrophe. I like it.
Not that there's anything wrong with the Mulligan.
Fucking frozen hell.
Seriously, the other names are incredibly clever (I especially like Mulberry Lane), but let's get real. Don't you want to get shit faced on your new cocktail every time your sheets freeze to the wall? I would.
By the way, have I ever told you I LOVE the MiL? I adore her cocktail name. So classy, so intellectual.
Unlike me.
How about calling it a Rustic? Easy to say, especially after a few. I feel this is important.
I've been waiting to comment until the perfect name popped into my head. I'm now tired of waiting.
I like either the Mulberry Slide or the Redneck. Mulligan speaks to me, but unfortunately what it says is "Mulligan stew."
Since the mulberry tree is on a slope, you could call it a Slippery Slope. And that could also serve double duty as a drunk test: if you're too drunk to enunciate the name of the cocktail, it's cut-off time.
Silkworm Snocker
Whoops! I missed Roger's silkworm bit. He slipped it in while I was typing. Mikey again
Two Blackrocks, please.
K, got a question. What does a Mullberry taste like?
Hmm, hard to say what mulberry tastes like. It tastes like a combination of grape juice and raspberry, I guess. It's pretty sweet on its own, so I didn't add much sugar to the juice. Mostly just . . . fruity.
Wow, isn't THAT helpful.
How about a Mullrock
"Buzzin Cuzzin"
"Blackrock D-Icer"
"Mulberry Buzz"
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