How To Build a Foundation

First, you should probably hire someone to do it for you. But if you're like A. and prefer to do everything yourself, here's what to do.

First, dig a level trench for your foundation wall. Then, go around the property scavenging stones from old, neglected flower beds and forgotten paths.

Next, collect your work crew.

Willing, but lacking opposable thumbs.

Also willing, and possessing of opposable thumbs, but mostly wants to just run off with Daddy's hammer.

Maybe it's best to fly solo, actually.

Next, start building a stone wall. Stone by stone, considering placement carefully and lifting them all into place. Changing your mind and moving that stone out and this one in. Sometimes you may have to cut a stone to make it fit better.

This is the tool that scores the stone. After it's scored, you should be able to whack the stone with a hammer and it will break along the scored line. Theoretically.

And sometimes you'll need to fill in some gaps with little rocks to make everything level.

Stone walls are so visually appealing, aren't they?

Just keep going until there's a wall there.

And until your jeans are so encrusted with mud that it will take two rinse cycles to get them clean enough to wash.

The next step is filling in the space between the wall and the building with backfill (small stones and rubble) and then laying more flat stones under the shed wall and on top of the stone wall, over the backfill. A. was going to pour concrete over the backfill in the space, but then thought maybe if he just left the backfill as is and instead made a strong stone top for the shed to rest on, the foundation wouldn't be so prone to cracking and deteriorating as it freezes and thaws and shifts. That's the theory, anyway. We'll see how it works.

Happy Monday, duckies! Here's hoping your week doesn't feature this much backbreaking labor. Unless that's your thing, in which case, labor away.