Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The Lazy Eater

Just now as I was standing over the sink eating an enormous slice of watermelon, it occurred to me that I have a somewhat unusual method of disposing of the seeds.  I don't spit them out.  Instead, I flick them out with my finger before I even take a bite.  And the reason I do this is because I am a lazy eater*.

I prefer to have my food ready to chew easily and swallow on immediate contact with my mouth.  This is why I don't enjoy foods like ribs, which require an awful lot of chewing and picking around cartilage and whatever before the actual meat can be consumed.  I used to always carefully trim all meat of excess fat and then cut it into bite-sized pieces before I even commenced eating.  I don't do this much anymore, mostly because food in smaller pieces gets colder a lot faster than larger pieces, a consideration in our cold-ass house.  But it's still how I prefer to eat.

I don't want to have to work hard for my food.  I don't want a challenge.  I just want to eat.

So what about you, poppets?  Do you enjoy challenging foods, or would you rather consume foods that require no effort?

* Because I'm sure some very well-meaning person is going to take it upon him or herself to suggest that perhaps I should just eat seedless watermelon . . . no.  No way.  Seedless watermelon is to real watermelon what network television is to PBS.  That is, tasteless and offensive in comparison.  Seedless watermelon is an abomination of nature and should never be willingly consumed.  There.  I said it.

9 comments:

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Darn...I LIKE seedless watermelon. Oh well, I've always been a little odd.

Phoo-D said...

Lol, I eat my watermelon the same way. Hate spitting out seeds. And seedless watermelon? Yeah those always still have white flat seeds. What a rip off. =)

Anonymous said...

I eat my watermelon the way you do.
I love ribs though. Just had country style ribs this past Sunday at mom's. Brought some home to enjoy on Monday....yah, they're a little trouble , but I don't eat them every day. :)
I really enjoy food I don't have to cook myself...it always tastes better and I enjoy it more if someone else has made it. I really can cook pretty well, so that isn't it. I guess I can call that the lazy part of me. WAIT.... I am lazy all over ...not JUST that part. Beth

edh said...

Seedless watermelon is neither seedless, nor is it truly watermelon in my opinion. Unfortunately it's all that the markets around here carry. Great sadness. Mostly I'm with you on effortless food, the notable exception being artichokes, but they're really just tasty spoons for hollandaise sauce...

Joellen said...

We eat a quarter of watermelon almost every afternoon at work. I work with my daddy and he buys 5 at a time and puts them on top of all the airconditioning vents in the hall. He says it helps cool them, I don't think they are really cool. I eat my melon with a knife and fork. When I have a chunk of melon on the fork, I use the knife to knock all of the seeds out. I cannot stand seedless watermelon because like Phoo-D said, they still have seeds, just smaller, and I hate the way they feel in my mouth.

Being from the South, I love Bar-be-que. Ribs are my favorite! I don't like the country ribs because they are boneless and not really ribs. I am also not a big fan of baby back. Give me the traditional spare ribs. Yes, they are trouble to get the meat off, but to me some things are just worth the effort and a good smoked rib is one of those things.

Another food that takes some effort is boiled peanuts. You have to be willing to take the time to shell them and you only get two or three peanuts per shell. You also have to be willing to but up with the brine that runs out of some of them. Have a few paper towels on hand or a kitchen towel before you start eating.

FinnyKnits said...

We are seed spitters in our house. Because we are obviously very classy. This does mean, however, that wedges of watermelon have to be consumed outdoors. Oftentimes, however, I'll bring in a watermelon from the garden and slice it up into chunks and then we just eat it a little at a time from a giant tupperware because, again, we're very classy.

Ribs, crab, mussels, prawns, artichokes - all of these things are good, despite the labor involved.

Drew @ Willpower Is For Fat People said...

You CUT OFF THE FAT?!?!

As for ribs, not so hard if you cook them right: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_9GBmHDIAI

Although ... picking it out of your teeth afterwards is a bit of a pain.

Drew @ Willpower Is For Fat People said...

Oops, that was supposed to be a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_9GBmHDIAI

nancy said...

Hey,me too! I'm just not a spitter by nature, too icky!