Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Living the Nightmare

You know what people's reaction is when they hear you're due to have a baby in July?  A grimace and a comment along the lines of, "Well, you're in for a hot summer!"

Although actually, it would suck a lot more to be due at the end of August, because then you'd have an extra month of pregnant heat exhaustion to deal with.  Though I'm not convinced that cuddling close to a newborn in a heat wave--since the kid will, we presume, expect to be fed with great frequency and that happens while in very close proximity to Mom and her feeding mechanisms AHEM--won't be just as bad as being pregnant during a heat wave.


What I was going to say was that ever since I found out I was pregnant and calculated my due date, I've been dreading the whole hugely-pregnant-in-the-heat-of-summer-while-chasing-a-toddler phase. Aaaand here I am.  Hugely pregnant?  Check.  Heat of summer?  Official heat advisory in effect until Thursday WHEE, so . . . check AND HOW.  Chasing a toddler.  CHECKCHECKCHECK, SLOW DOWN, CUBBY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND YOUR HUGELY PREGNANT MOTHER.

But you know, in a way it's kind of a relief to have gotten to the point I was fretting about for so long.  I mean, no, I wouldn't mind if it were twenty degrees cooler, but I really don't think I'm any hotter than I already am during the summer (that is VERY, in case you have missed my extensive bitching on the subject for the past four years).  And we don't sleep when it's hot anyway, and I don't sleep in the last stages of pregnancy anyway, so it all kind of goes together in a grand conglomeration of misery.

That said, anytime this kid wants to come or Mama N. would like to send some cooler weather our way, you will not hear me complaining.

Edited to add:  Also on the topic of hot weather survival is ice cream, because I have been eating enormous quantities of it lately.  We were out of my preferred flavor (Perry's White Lightning--dark chocolate ice cream with white chocolate mint fudgy stuff OH MY GOD SO GOOD) and I knew there was no way I was getting through this coming heat advisory without it.  So we took a trip to the nearby market in a nearby village specifically to get this ice cream.  And they were out.  DAMMIT.  My runner-up flavor was Perry's Cookies and Cream.  I just scooped out a bowl, and you know what?  It is not Cookies and Cream.  Despite the container being clearly labeled as such, there is no doubt at all that the Cookies part done got left out.  It's vanilla. Plain, unadulterated vanilla, without the saving grace of cookies.  That, my friends, is what I call a comical screw by the universe.

I'm eating it anyway, with some maple syrup.  But still, SCREW YOU RIGHT BACK, UNIVERSE.


flask said...

you write so nicely about the misery that if i lived within an hour of you, i would make you a very fine batch of ice cream and and deliver it.

i'm serious.

good luck with the heat.

and the other stuff.

i'll be sleeping in the basement.

Anonymous said...

Girl! I remember those hugely pregnat & hot days. Time to get Cubby a slip n' slide and have him play with water to keep you both cool. Better yet - give him a bath in the middle of the afternoon with lots of toys to keep him in the tub for a good while.

Hang in there!

-Marcy, sweating in Pittsburgh

sheila said...

root beer floats

Jen said...

As the mom of 2 late summer babies (July 28 & Aug 19) I feel your misery. But, truthfully, I think nursing in the heat is worse. Sweaty baby, sweaty you... it's just awful.
And on that pleasant note, I'm very sorry to hear about your ice cream. That would have been grounds for a serious melt down when I was pregnant. How dare they forget the cookies?!?!
Hoping it cools down for you soon!

Anonymous said...

I have an Aug. child, too. Hot, yes.

I think you ought to contact the company about the ice cream. Surely a letter from a pregnant, heat wave facing, toddler chasing dedicated customer would be worth a coupon to replace the cookies and cream that you didn't get to begin with!

This is Tina from OurRusticRoots. For some stupid reason I'm locked out of my acct. right now. Grr!

jive turkey said...

I'm with Tina. This is when my mom's time-honored tradition of Writing a Letter About Things That Aren't Right will definitely pay off and get you AT LEAST a few coupons for free ice cream. FREE ICE CREAM! You have nothing to lose here!