(Yes, I published this on Monday night. It was an accident, but eh. Close enough.)
I am a big fan of kids picking their own messes up. Just ask my own kids, who have had the misfortune to be saddled with a terribly cruel mother who insists that they clean up their widely scattered and incredibly numerous toys every night.
EVERY NIGHT! Someone call a lawyer! This must be unconstitutional!
They have actually said that. To which I reply, "There is no constitution granting you any rights in the Republic of Mom. Get going."
The only way I have found that really motivates them to do this without constant nagging is my long-standing rule that they can choose not to pick up, but I will put every last one of the toys they leave out in the trash unless they at least try. I give them a warning half an hour before bed (and, okay, sometimes a few more warnings on particularly contentious days), and at least one of them will reluctantly drag his siblings along to start picking up.
However.
Because they are still young children, and because there are SO MANY things to pick up every night, they inevitably miss some things. The small weapons for their small soldiers, a stray Duplo, one of the farm animals that gets in a corner . . . there are always a few things that don't get put away.
I'm not a monster. I don't throw away every single thing I find on the floor after they've picked up. If they make a good-faith effort to clean up, then that's all I ask.
Those stray bits do tend to build up over time, though. In addition, when some of the younger ones are helping, they have a habit of just throwing every single thing they find right into the toy box without separating out the sets of things to put into the bags or boxes designated for them.
The result is that even when they pick up, there's still kind of a mess in the toy box and toy room (Charlie and Jack's room).
Eventually, they need a toy intervention.
Every few months, I clear out the toy box and properly organize everything in it, so all the toy cars, animals, "guys," Magnatiles, Duplos, blocks, etc. are separate and in their own containers. I also clean out the corners of the room, under the desk, behind the toy box and so on where things get lost.
The result is a clean room and organized toys. And the result of that is much happier play times, both because they have room to play and because they can find all the pieces to everything and thus do not become locked in mortal combat over the only two long orange Tinkertoys that they can find.
The last time I did this was just before Christmas, and the result was this impressive . . . installation.
I also take the opportunity to surreptitiously dispose of anything that's broken or just doesn't get played with much. Some people rotate toys and store the ones that aren't being played with, thus leading to fewer toys to be picked up or sorted, and also more excitement when the kids see toys that they haven't had for awhile. I would do this if I had the storage space, but I don't.
Anyway.
Although I'm all for teaching kids to take care of their own things, I also encourage helping them out every once in awhile. Because we all need a reset sometimes.
5 comments:
This is so, so hard for me. Probably because I am not good about picking up after myself either.
I agree 100% and I do the same thing, although I do it for grandchildren now. They are here several days a week and inevitably the Noah's ark animals end up in the dinosaur box and Barbie's shoes are in the fire engine. But hey, there was a battle between the dinosaurs and the animals and a fire started and Barbie drove the fire engine and a tiny stuffed mouse was flying this helicopter and...
The toy battle happens at our house. I have also said toys would be gathered up in the trash bag to get rid of if they were not cleaned up. My kids know I don’t do idle threats and as long as they try they get to keep their items. Now, everything is not always organized but that is a battle for another day.
Kate....love the story telling.
Kristin...doing good , gotta pick your battles.
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