How I Cut a Watermelon

What, that title didn't grab you right out of the gate? 

Anyway.

Whenever I go to the grocery store in the summer, there are two things I notice about the watermelons there: One is that they are always seedless. And two is that they are small.

I don't buy those watermelons. I buy the watermelons from the pick-up truck on the side of the road. These typically weigh 30 pounds and are bigger than a dog.

It requires some strategy to cut up a fruit that large. And this is how I do it.

First, I have to note that I can't cut watermelons on my cutting boards. The reason for that is that I most frequently cut onions and garlic on my cutting boards, which are wood. So they retain the faint smell of those pungent alliums, and if I cut watermelon on them (or pineapple), I can always taste just a bit of that onion/garlic flavor.

Unpleasant.

So cutting boards are out for cutting watermelon.

Luckily, I have the original 1970s yellow plastic countertops in my trailer kitchen, which I can and do cut on without any worry about messing them up. 

So I put my giant watermelon directly on the counter, grab my carving knife, and start cutting circles off the end.

Watermelon circle with carving knife.

Forgot to mention the kitchen towel on the counter. This is crucial to avoid a flood of watermelon juice dripping off the counter and onto the floor. I don't cut on the towel itself, but I leave it under the cut watermelon to absorb the juice.

The big circle gets put flat on a plate, which is where I cut it into triangles.

Or sometimes chunks for later, as you can see in the bowl on the right.

The reason I cut chunks for later is that the watermelons are so big I can't store them easily in my refrigerator if I don't cut off about a quarter of them when I first cut into them. I simply put the watermelon cut side down on that same plate and slide it into the refrigerator. If we don't eat enough to make the watermelon short enough to fit on a refrigerator shelf on its plate, I cut more off and cut it into chunks into a bowl until the watermelon will fit.

And I guess that's it. That's how I deal with giant, seeded watermelons. That was about as exciting as the title promised, huh?

Do you buy watermelons? How do you prepare them?