God Bless Texas

Today's report brought to you by Buc-ee's, a Texas restaurant with the best advertising EVER.

See, we drove from New Orleans to San Antonio today. This took us nine hours and the scenery was . . . unimpressive. Cows, scrub, horrid sprawl around Houston, houses with peeling paint, more cows, some of those cool big ranches with the brand on the gates, and wait! Are those MORE cows?

I'm sure you get the idea.

But then, after we got through the wretched mess that is Houston (I'm sorry if this is your place of residence and you're a big Houston booster, but I was unimpressed, to say the least), I started seeing these billboards. Every ten miles or so, there would be a billboard for a restaurant named Buc-ee's (pronounced, I must assume, like "Bucky's"), the mascot for which was a cartoon beaver wearing a baseball hat. The signs had brief messages on them. They were all different, and many were really, really funny.

A sampling (keep in mind all of these little slogans were next to a picture of a beaver):

1) My overbite is sexy.

2) OMG! It's a beaver! LOL!

3) Care for a beaver nugget?

There were many more, but my brain is not functioning with its normal quickness (WHAT? I AM TOTALLY QUICK) so I can't remember them. Just trust me when I tell you, those billboards were the highlight of today's long-ass, noisy, bouncy trip. Then we actually passed Buc-ee's, and their sign advertised 15 kinds of jerky. But, and I really can't believe this now, we didn't stop.

I think I might regret that for the rest of my life.

P.S. Today was my dad's 61st birthday. Can you imagine a better way to celebrate than sitting on your ass in a U-Haul for nine hours? Yeah, me neither.