Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Living as a Slightly-Less-Evolved Being

Isn't it amazing how you can just keep learning throughout your life? I mean, I would have totally bet money (not MY money, however) on the fact that I knew everything already, now that I've reached the advanced age of 29. (Please tell me you can read the very heavy sarcasm there.) And yet, I've just learned a new thing, now that my exploding thumb has rendered me essentially one-handed.

Opposable thumbs are VERY, VERY IMPORTANT.

Don't believe me? Try to clip back long hair with one fully-functioning hand and the four non-thumb fingers of the other. Or apply deodorant. Or button a jacket. Or put on a bra. Or even do something as advanced as open a door WHILE HOLDING A CUP OF WATER, and you will see.

It's like I've regressed, evolutionarily speaking. And it's really, really annoying. It does get me out of doing things like splitting wood and washing dishes, but dude. This kind of sucks. I'm home alone all day, sitting around bra-less (sorry, Dad) in my sweatpants, thinking of all the things I should be doing. Like wearing supportive undergarments and pants that have a zipper. I did manage to cook dinner last night with just the one hand (with some peril to my remaining whole fingers, I might add), and I might be able to manage some of my other chores, but the effort involved in cleaning the bathroom one-handed is just too tiring for me to contemplate at the moment.

So instead, let's look at some pictures.

First up! A photo of one of the many small children who have come to see the puppies. And grasp them in a headlock. The puppies appear to enjoy it.

I WOULD bet my own money that this is the cutest thing you will see all day. Maybe all WEEK.

Definitely less cute is this photo my sister took while I was in Arizona and recently sent to me. This is Aunt Monkey dancing so the family photos will feature a smiling, focusing baby.

I swear to God, I was TOTALLY SOBER.

And lastly, a reminder that it IS still spring, despite the SNOW blowing outside my window at this very moment.



Phoo-D said...

I'm jealous that you have crocus! I keep checking mine but they show no signs of sprouting yet. Hang in there with your thumb!

Sara said...

OK, that first picture was just adorable! The second one was hilarious. But I have to tell you that I WILL be seeing something cuter this afternoon: My (not so) little nephew will be arriving from Florida! My brother is going to be pissed to find out it was snowing here this morning. I wish it would warm up a bit. The other three kids are coming to town tomorrow, so there will be cuteness all around all week. And there will probably be another crazy auntie dancing around like a fool to get them to smile.

Mayberry Magpie said...

Totally the cutest thing I will see all week, no doubt, with the exception of Bruce Springsteen, whom I'll see tonight. Wait. He's SEXY. Different category.

Phoo-D, my lone crocus has bloomed. And get this -- so have a patch of volunteer Zinnias. It got down to 26 degrees last night so I'm thinking my Zinnias are gonezo.

Daisy said...

Hugs to you. I hope your thumb heals quickly, but most of all I hope it heals completely. Glad you have the cute puppies to help cheer you up!

FinnyKnits said...

Have any of these children made plans to take home puppies or are you running some sort of bizarre petting zoo?

Kids scare me.

Glad your crocus have shown up - that's something you can do without thumbs - stare at the flowers.

I do this and I have full use of my thumbs. For now.

rls said...

RE photo #1: That IS the cutest thing we will see all week, unless Spats finally makes an appearance.

RE photo #2: Remember back when you had two opposable thumbs? Good times.

Anonymous said...

I'm a day late (and a dollar short? who knows!)but I still would like to register with a profound "ouch."

You may not know this, but a few years ago,in the early spring, I broke my left hand on a woodchipper, so I know how annoying typing can be for the newly disabled. My cast would drag along behind my fingers, erasing everything they had written.

Ouch, ouch, and a very sympathetic ouch. Mikey

Sweet Bird said...

I feel your pain, yo. Tendinitis in both elbows produces a similar situation.

I'm now cringing thinking about your thumb, because I'm a huge effing baby and I would totally be in hysterics about it.