Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Things I'm Not Good At

And there you were, thinking I could do anything (RIGHT?). Sadly, no. I have my limitations. They include:

Drawing. There is not one artistic atom in my body. My drawing skills began and ended at stick figures.

Parallel parking. I have the depth perception of a near-sighted baboon (and no, I have no idea if baboons are near-sighted). Also related to this is my complete inability to judge distances. This is why I plant things in the garden using an actual ruler, because there is NO WAY I'm going to accurately measure six inches by eye. I've accepted this about myself.

Tree identification. Despite numerous tutorials by A. on this subject, I still can't tell a locust from a horse chestnut. Mostly because I just don't care. Besides, why should I bother? I can just ask A.

Painting. And here we come to my current project. I kind of suck at painting. Walls, I mean, not pictures (though I most definitely suck at that, too). I lack the necessary patience to do a careful job. At the moment, I'm finally painting the closet in the study. The study itself was painted a nice cheery yellow. That was over two years ago. The closet, however, has remained an ugly sky blue. This is the speed at which projects are completed at Blackrock. So I figured that even if I do a not-so-pretty job with the painting, at least A) it's finally getting painted and B) it's a closet that's going to be covered with bookshelves, so no one will really see, anyway. This is how I justify my slapdash painting method, anyway.

So tell me, poppets: What are YOU less than skilled at?


granny said...

Yeh,same...and I cant reverse park either!

Sara said...

Parallel parking is hard, especially if you don't have to do it often. I've gotten a lot better at it over the last year, since cars without parking permits seem to take up my lot, forcing me to park on the street. However, my measuring skills are on par with yours, so although I park well, it may take me longer than it should; I'm always worried I don't have enough room. I hate when people say "there's ____ feet between this and this"; I have no idea how far that is.

As for what I can't do, I don't think I have time to list everything. I'm not so skilled at much.

mdvelazquez said...

I can't: I've lived in NYC all of my life and use mass transit.
...give someone directions above ground because I have a poor sense of direction. I can, however, tell you how to get almost anywhere within the 5 boroughs using MTA. (I don't know why I'm fixated on the transit system today.)

Mayberry Magpie said...

"I'm an excellent painter," (spoken in the halting diction of Rainman).

Seriously, though I am. Patience is not my virtue either, but painting forces me to slow down. It's good for my soul.

Can't drive worth a damn though. In my lifetime, I have backed into so many objects I have lost count. I got kicked out of my insurance coverage once and I've cried many tears over my incompetence. Just last week I backed into the chiminea and turned it into a pile of broken pottery bits. Must.Stop.Driving.In.Reverse.

Phoo-D said...

We could be twins - my failings are very similar. No ability to draw, even my stick figures look sickly. Spatial awareness? Yeah, genetically non-existant. Trees? I'll just ask Mr. B. Painting...ugh, I always want to just get it done and then wonder how so much ended up on the floor.

Chiot's Run said...

I am terrible at computer stuff, not the software but the hardware. It's a good thing Mr Chiots is highly skilled at these things, one benefit to marrying a true geek.

Meadowlark said...

YoungSon taught me to parallel park. There's a very easy trick to it. Which I've since forgotten and am back to sucking at parking.

In the scheme of things, you have a lot of things you CAN do... let's just consider these things stupid and then it's OK.

Anonymous said...

No drawing - zero (must be genetic). But I can parallel park...


Susan said...

When I pulled out all my summer clothes I wondered what all the white smudges were. They would be paint from the renovation last year.

Which is still not done. Not even close.

rls said...

Things I'm not good at: dancing or anything in which I have to look graceful. And sports in which I have to throw a ball or hit a ball or catch a ball.

FinnyKnits said...

Oh dude. Careful painting (of walls) is a challenge. I must always use the blue tape for these jobs, but Bubba has taught me *when* it's actually necessary to be careful and when it's OK to be a little haphazard. Like, when painting a closet that's going to be covered with shelves and stuff - I'm pretty sure it's OK to run wild with the paint brush - go crazy!

For things I can't do, well, there's many, but one of the things that always offends people is my inability to judge children's ages. With adults, I'm OK, but with kids? Oh, it's the worst.

A kid could be 3 or 6 and I'd have NO CLUE. And it totally enrages people when you're, like, "Hey kiddo, how is school?" and their parents are all, "Um, he's two. He doesn't GO to school."

Oh. Well, sorry his freakin' head is so huge. I thought he was in junior high.