Not Your Typical Thanksgiving Post

But then, when did I ever aspire to "typical"?

So! Happy Thanksgiving, my darling duckies! Are you all gearing up for some good food and serious gluttony? Are your appetites whetted for your annual pants blow-out? Good! Then let's talk about rotting food!

(What? Is this in bad taste? HAAAA!!! Geddit? Bad taste? Food? Just a little Thanksgiving humor for you.)

I have mentioned some rot in the potatoes. I have mentioned that the green cabbages rotted spectacularly and turned into sluggy, stinky piles of goo in the Pit of Despair. And now? We can add the shallots and purple cabbages to the list of rot.

The shallots are hanging in a net bag in the outside pantry. I've been noting signs of distress from them when I pull one or two out to cook with, but I've been avoiding dumping them all out and sorting them. I did that yesterday, though. A few were totally rotted, almost all of the rest had some signs of rot, but were still usable. So, one rotten chore down.

I could smell the purple cabbages when I was in the Pit. You'll recall that the smell is how I knew the green cabbages were goners. So when I smelled that particularly unappealing odor again (I can't really describe it, but I'm sure you can guess it ain't exactly roses), I knew I was in for a treat. I put it off for a couple of days, but yesterday I screwed up my face and my courage, held my breath, and pulled the bag of cabbages out of the Pit.

There were only two left, and they had some very attractive slime and rot on the outsides, but they were mostly still okay. Now, had these been purchased cabbages, I probably would've chucked 'em straight in the compost, because removing layers of slimy rot is pretty high on the list of things I prefer to avoid. But I grew these suckers. I weeded them, I watered them, I spent a lot of time on them. I was going to salvage what I could. So I plunged into the slime (GROSS) and cleaned them up until only good, non-rotted cabbage remained. That was about three-quarters of the original cabbages, so it was worth the time, I guess. Then I made it into German red cabbage. I now have five quarts of it to freeze.

Oh, and the onions I used in the German cabbage? Also starting to rot. Of course. All I can say is it's a damn good thing I haven't been sick with this man-cub. There is no room for additional nausea in my already gag-inducing life.

And on that happy and appetizing note, I wish you all the happiest of Thanksgivings! May your gravy be plentiful and your vegetables un-rotted.

Amen.