The Glamor Continues

Our refrigerator has been making some worrisome noises lately. It seems to be running an awful lot, and being unnecessarily loud about it, too. I noted this some time ago and, in the great tradition of the large flightless bird, decided to figuratively stick my head in the sand and ignore the problem.

Then the MiL brought home Martha Stewart's magazine. It was just sitting there by my chair, so I started flipping through it, zipping right past the craft stuff and idly skimming a section on how to make your home more efficient. Which is where I saw the little tip that your refrigerator's condenser coils are supposed to be cleaned twice a year. This gave me pause, as I considered the fact that our refrigerator is now almost five years old and, to the best of my knowledge, had never had its coils cleaned. Unless A. or the MiL snuck in there and did it when I wasn't looking. I think that is unlikely.

Although I knew this little bit of housekeeping scheduling already, it never occurred to me to actually do it. I mean, who does? Do you clean your refrigerator coils twice a year? (If you do, don't tell me.) But I thought maybe five years might be stretching the boundaries of acceptable slovenly housekeeping, and might also possibly be contributing to refrigerator distress. So I decided to clean the coils.

This required, of course, moving the refrigerator. Which then revealed the floor underneath the refrigerator. Which is, of course, something you never really want to have to face. Because it is disgusting. The filth on the back of the refrigerator and the wall behind it was also revealed. It was gross.

But never mind that for now! Let's get to the coils! Which are . . . where are the coils? Ah, cleverly concealed behind this crappy cardboard piece on the bottom of the refrigerator. The cardboard is, I must assume, meant to keep the innards of the refrigerator free of dirt and debris. If that is in fact its function, it fails. And yet, it is screwed into the refrigerator with tiny little bolts that must be removed. Which requires a trip out to the shop, where of course I will never be able to find the right sized wrench for those tiny bolts, so I had to use needle nose pliers. They are not the right tool for the job and kept slipping off, so it took twice as long to remove the bolts as it should.

Keep in mind, please, that I am now seven months pregnant and getting on and off the kitchen floor, as well as bending over to unscrew the bolts, means there is much undignified scrambling and heaving. Possibly also some very attractive grunting sounds. It wasn't a pretty sight. Also, it made my back hurt.

But soldiering on! To the coils! Which were, predictably, filthy, and yet so constructed that it is impossible to get them all clean. Without removing them, that is, and that would require getting a service person out and would probably cost $100, so I just had to do the best I could and hope that the dust that was left would just disappear on its own. Sure.

Then back on went the useless cardboard piece with its irritating tiny bolts that the needle nose pliers can't grip properly. Then I cleaned the wall, the floor, and the side of the refrigerator. Then I moved the refrigerator back into position and plugged it back in. Then I took to the couch to rest after my ordeal.

Twice a year? Really? I think not.