Friday, May 11, 2012

True Confessions

So everyone knows that Mother's Day is on Sunday, right?  Yeah, um, I didn't until I read a mention of it on a blog yesterday.

What kind of mother AM I?

The sort who doesn't get very worked up about Mother's Day, I guess.

The thing is, Mother's Day seems to me to be a day for children to express their appreciation for their own mother.  And my own children are pretty far from that stage yet, being two years old with the complete self-absorption characteristic of that age and, well, not born yet.  A. appreciates me as a mother.  I already know that.  He asked me what I wanted to do for Mother's Day.

You know the real, true, shocking answer?  I want to be an absentee mom for the day.  To NOT be the one instantly waking up to the slightest rustle from the boy's room.  To NOT be the one he screams at in his fits of rage, and yet the only one he can even bear the sight of during those fits.  To NOT be the only one who can get him to go potty/wash his hands/calm down/sing his lullaby ("Lullaby TWO TIMES, Mommy") to put him to bed and down for a nap every day.

A. is a good father, but I am Cubby's mother and primary caregiver, all the time, every day, every hour of the day.  If I worked or were otherwise away from him for even a couple of hours at a time ever, I probably wouldn't feel this way about Mother's Day.  But I'm not, and I do.

But, you know, I know how lucky I am to have that choice to be here with him all the time, despite the drawbacks.  And so on Mother's Day I'll just be Cubby's mom, as I am every other day of the year, world without end, amen.


Anonymous said...

Could you take a shopping trip to the small city or go to a movie or arrange a pedicure--just get away for a few hours? Mary in MN

tu mere said...

Having seen Cubby in action here in Tucson I can totally understand. However, he did manage to survive two periods away from Mom ( I was a personal witness and intimately involved), and get through the trauma unscathed. All things can be accomplished, so you go for it and take that time away for Mother's Day.

Anonymous said...

Cubby and all your family are lucky to have you.
I don't see a problem at all that you want/need a day off once in awhile . Beth

Anonymous said...

Goodness--EVERYONE gets time off from whatever their job is. So, I agree with others--time off for you on Sunday. Cubby will learn that he can survive (which is good, since the New Baby will occupy a minute or two of your attention in a few months). And, in fact, that will be an excellent lesson for him. And you'll feel better, too.

Sister’s Sailor said...

I was looking at taking your sister to a concert for her first mother’s day. But alas, she has to take the cat in for his dental exam/teeth cleaning and won't be back in time to go. As the saying goes for my Cubs, there is always next year, except this is for the Rob Zombie/Megadeath tour!

Anonymous said...

Sister's rock.
Kristin ...would Rob Zombie / Megadeath be up your alley !!
Your ears would be ringing when that got over!!
I think a whole day at a bookstore or the library might be more up Kristin's alley. Mainly because a whole day at a bar would make for a very drunk Kristin.
Happy Mother's Day Kristin, no matter what you end up doing!
Maybe wandering the city doing your heart's desire.

Anonymous said...

Did you really write "If I worked"?????

In every posting you write, you describe very, very, very hard work.

good grief...!