MEMO
From: The Management of Blackrock, Inc.
To: Kristin the Dumbass
Please note that the following articles of clothing are not considered appropriate work attire at Blackrock, Inc.
1) Flip flops or sandals of any kind
2) Skirts of any kind, especially fluffy, cute ones
3) Shorts
4) Anything white
5) Anything you care about ruining
It has come to our attention that certain workers (i.e., Kristin the Dumbass) have been violating this mini-farm's policy of only dirty work clothes in the hours between sunrise and sunset. The management would like to remind all workers that failure to follow this policy could result in the ABSOLUTE RUIN of your favorite clothes, as well as the necessity of chasing sheep through the blackberry brambles in flip flops.
8 comments:
I rarely wear a skirt to my office. Why would you even consider wearing one on a farm? And I'd like to see this fluffy, cute skirt. No, really. I would. I need fashion ideas.
weird. i got a very similar memo once.
I just got the memo from my wife. I am to start wearing an apron when I cook effective immediately. If she has to clean grease stains from one more work shirt I'm on my own for laundry.
I'm sitting in my cubicle wearing heels, dress pants, and a botton-down. I haven't seen the outside world since 7:30 this morning - I would do anything to throw on some grubby clothes and get dirty. I think my first order of business would be to destroy my heels. Did you notice that Hell and Heels both start with the letter H?
Skirts ROCK! I say KEEP ON WEARING 'EM! Even when you're grubby and dirty, it's nice to look like a girl. That said, I actually don't wear skirts, I wear the new-and-improved skorts. No stupid "shorts in back, skirt in front" thing... these are bonafide skirts with shorts attached underneath. Comfy, fun and modest even.
While normally barefoot, I do draw the line at hard work in flip flops. So on the weekends when shoveling is imminent, the husband just rolls his eyes when I put on my bikini top, skort and my favorite combat boots from when I was a Marine. Yeah, it looks a tiny bit odd, but if someone doesn't like it, they shouldn't look! And except for the strange tan (fixable with sunless tanner) I'm a happy camper. You really should try it. I wear a skort nearly every day and have actually started using my running skirt (same as the skort, but shorter and with a built-in panty, not shorts) as my bathing suit bottom. It hides a multitude of sins, let me tell you.
Boy, management is tough on you. I think you might have to renegotiate your job responsibilities. Just saying.
I noticed birthday suit is not on the "articles of clothing not considered appropriate work attire at Blackrock, Inc" list. :)
how'd you get my memo?!
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