Once upon a time, there was a very brave and very beautiful maiden named Kristin who grew tomatoes. She lovingly planted and cared for the seeds, transplanting the tender seedlings to her garden when the weather warmed, protecting her helpless seedlings from the cruel world with Walls o' Water, all in preparation for the day when she would have a delicious tomato all her own to eat.
That day finally came, and there was much rejoicing in the land when the brave and beautiful maiden Kristin ate the first tomato from her garden. And the rejoicing continued as the tomatoes proved fruitful and produced many more tomatoes for salads and sauces and soups. But soon, there was fear, as the tomatoes came in greater and greater numbers, and the maiden Kristin (who is, let us not forget, very brave and beautiful) despaired of finding a use for all those tomatoes.
But the maiden Kristin, being a practical sort, rolled up her velvet sleeves and got to work. She peeled and cored and canned tomatoes for days and days and days. Her hands became weary from the paring knife and she suffered great pain from the acidic tomato juices in the many cuts on her hands from that very same paring knife. At times, she felt she couldn't go on. But the maiden Kristin was very brave (and beautiful! especially when canning), and she pressed on until she had canned all the tomatoes there were to can.
And then the brave and beautiful maiden Kristin heaved a great sigh of relief that she had vanquished the great numbers of tomatoes at last. Until the night of the first predicted frost, when the maiden Kristin gathered all the tomatoes that were yet green on the vine. And those tomatoes proved stubborn, sitting in bowls on the counter, slowly turning red, it is true, but yet mocking the maiden Kristin for thinking she could ever, ever win in her contest of wills against such a mighty foe as the tomato. But the very brave and very beautiful maiden Kristin is also very patient, and she knows that the tomatoes must surrender before she. And so she waits, in a stand-off with the tomatoes, that are still sitting in the kitchen in mid-November.
Well-fought, sirs, but I shall prevail in the end.
The End (almost)
10 comments:
This is better than The Princess Bride! I can't wait to hear what happens next. I just hope there's no kissing.
Very good, brave and beautiful Kristin! I have to tell you that I'd love to have some garden tomatoes right about now. I know you have so many that you don't care, but, *sigh*, I miss the summer.
Hail to the conquering hero!
I also miss the tomatoes of summer (not to be confused with the Boys of Summer). The last surviving bastions of my garden are the rosemary and parsley I brought inside and am already tired of watering.
Well fought battle! I only have 3 longsuffering tomatoes still ripening on my counter. But soon, soon, they will be mine! (cue maniacal laughter here)
I will assume that no knight in shining armor will be swooping in to save Fair Kristin from the mighty onslaught of tomatoes?
I have a basket of green tomatoes on the counter and I'll be out in the garden this weekend tearing down my 3 plants (hehe, just 3) and taking in the green ones to ripen.
Stupid farm share gave us green tomatoes this week, too. What is that about? Cheaters.
i want to yell it's only a flesh wound when the brave and beautiful kristin's hands were cut from the knife!
your brave princess needs to have a cameo on my soap opera!
not a fan of pickled green tomatoes huh? I made about 6 quarts of them this year only to realize when we opened on jar that I used way to much vinegar....still edible but not what my husband remembers of the ones his Jewish grandmother made.....
Sarah--I'll probably make green tomato mincemeat with whatever doesn't ripen. I meant to make it before now, but they just kept ripening.
I've had some issues with excessive vinegar in pickles, too. Thanksfully, if you drain part of the pickling liquid and top if off with water and leave it for another week or so, it will dilute the vinegar some. Everything is fixable.
The brave & not-bad-looking for an older woman, on the prairie is braving a similar battle with her tomatoes and starting a new war with pumpkins and squash.
I believe my mightly sword (ok chef's knife) needs to be sharpened.
thanks for the giggle
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