Saturday, June 5, 2010

A True Blackrock Welcome

My sister arrived yesterday for a short visit, and one of the very first things she did was help A. dispose of a dead deer.

Perhaps I should back up and explain? Okay. I'll begin at the beginning and go on until I reach the end.

Yesterday morning, Cubby and I went out for a little chariot ride and some fresh air. Except HE was the only one riding--I had to push. Just ONCE, I would like him to push me around. Lazy bum.


We went down to the mailbox so I could mail yet another thank-you note and pick up the morning newspaper. As soon as I started down the driveway, I could see that the newspaper box had been knocked to the ground. Assuming it was just some punk-ass kids with a baseball bat (mailbox bashing is a popular late-night activity for teenagers in the boonies), I continued on my way, cursing* those kids these days, because I am 80 years old.

When I got down to the road and could see to the other side and down into the slight dip that leads to the lakeshore, I saw . . . something. My first panicked thought was that it was a dog, because it was the same color as Mia and Leda. Upon closer inspection--by which I mean a second look from far away, not actually closer because I'm a wimp--I saw it was a dead deer. That was very, very dead and already covered in flies. Yay. It had obviously been hit on the road sometime the night before. This time, however, we were not going to be salvaging it for our freezer. You know, because of the flies and all. A pretty good indication of a lack of freshness.


It still needed to be moved, however, so the dogs wouldn't try to cross the road to get to the delicious-smelling carcass on the other side. (I'm sure there's a joke in there, but I'm not clever enough to make it.) Also so I wouldn't keep coming face to face with a putrefying deer every time I went to the mailbox.

So I wheeled Cubby back up to the house, where I informed A. that there was a large dead deer right next to our mailbox. He called the DEC to report it (technically the legal thing to do) and they said if we dragged it onto the side of the road, the highway department might take it away. A. very politely replied that it would be a hot day in Blackrock before the highway department got around to THAT (or words to that effect). Then they told him he could just dispose of it himself and no one would care.

Except he was really busy yesterday. And then he had to drive to the airport to pick up my sister. And then we had dinner. And then it was 8 p.m. and the deer was STILL down there, getting grosser by the minute in the stifling humidity. So A. and I grabbed our work gloves and hauled the thing into the back of Big Red. Then my sister--you know, our guest--climbed into the cab of the truck and went with A. to dump it in a gully where scavengers other than our dogs would eat it. Of course, she's a veterinarian, so dead animals aren't exactly a novelty to her, but still. Gross.

Last time she was here, she helped us spread shit-straw on the garden. This time she's hauling around a dead deer. I really don't know why she keeps coming back. Must be the novelty factor. You just never know what's going to happen on a visit to Blackrock!

At least the food is good.

* Only in my head. Because of the BABY, you know.


Anonymous said...

Why did the deer cross the road?

Playing follow the leader.
Greener pastures.
One said jump...he said... how high?
He had heard about the 'deer in the headlights look' and he thought he'd be fashionable and try it.
His life was no longer fullfilling.
I am sure there are better ones...but, I too,can't think of them.

word verification 'wineuid'

drinker's birth control

tami Bami Wami said...

I'm so glad i'm not a guest at blackrock. *grin* I would be pretty grossed out at the normal activities ya'll engage in.

Drew @ How To Cook Like Your Grandmother said...

When I first read it, I thought you said she was a vegetarian, so "dead animals aren't a novelty" didn't make much sense. So I read it again.

Ahh, that makes more sense.

Word verification: ablent -- 40 days of not fasting

Anonymous said...

Funny, I read vegetarian also. Must be the image we have of Blackrock visitors in general.

rls said...

I would come to Blackrock just for the food. The novelty factor would just be icing on the cake.

Daisy said...

Of course you watched your language around the baby! You don't want his first words to be... um, well...

word verification: relyho - the favorite garden tool for weeding between the lines

Alicia said...

Ah, country life. We bailed hay on our vacation.

FinnyKnits said...

Oh man. And here I thought miles of canned tomatoes were the worst that could be in store for a visitor...