You may have noticed that I use the word "gross" a lot. That's because there seem to be an above-average number of things in my life that are appropriately described as such.
Let us take, for example, my day with Cubby yesterday.
Cubby has a cold. Not, THANK GOD, the horrible, evil, sucking-the-will-to-live stomach virus that I suffered through, but still. A cold. Colds come with snot, which for babies is not so easy to dispose of. Since they can't just handily blow it into a tissue, you see. No, they instead smear it all over their sheet while they sleep; smear it all over their faces with their hands; shoot it with surprising velocity from their noses in glutinous, horrifying ropes when they sneeze. It is, in a word . . .
Gross.
In addition to the cold, Cubby is teething. Teething means drool. Drool that mixes with the snot and drips all over the place and is . . .
Gross.
Also, in my quest to get the child accustomed to self-feeding food in non-puree form, we've been having some really intense feeding sessions lately. This involves putting various small, soft foodstuffs on his tray that he then smashes in his fist and smears everywhere, thereby creating a really artistic mural of food that is . . .
Gross.
The culmination was dinner last night, at which he was drooling, sneezing snot out of his nose, smearing food around, and THEN (wait for it!) he gagged until he threw up.
GROOOOOOSSSSSS.
12 comments:
Remember a couple of weeks ago when you were bragging about your wonderful, friendly child? And I revealed my petty jealousy?
I was not wishing for the universe to provide a yang to your yin. I was not hoping you'd get your comeuppance. I'm definitely not sitting here chuckling softly about who tempted fate.
Word verification: seumbell -- Brazilian free weights
Some of us are eating breakfast, you know?
Petty indeed, Drew. But he's still wonderful, because even with all the dripping and sneezing and general yuck, he's still cheery and toddling about happily.
Yes. Toddling. Oh God.
Anonymous: I am sorry about your breakfast. Just think how my appetite for dinner was affected last night, viewing all of this first-hand. And cleaning it up.
Oh man. Gross. Only an adorable little man like Cubby can pull that kind of stuff at the dinner table and still remain irresistibly cute. HOW DO THEY DO THAT?!
That's why you never see those kind of pictures in baby books. They would definitely go a long way in promoting birth control. Thanks for not posting photos.
On the up side, we all know how wonderful Cubby is, so a little extra body fluid to deal with is worth the price of his existence.
Hoo boy, I'm in for it.
You tell his girlfriend that when he brings one home in 16 years.
But only if you don't like her.
Yaaaaaay. I love gross - the best part of which is all the gross stories you get to tell.
Nice one!
At what point was your happy angel baby swapped with the kid from The Exorcist?
Awful. Truly awful.
I laughed out loud, then thought awww poor Cubby. Than I though..I'm glad I am not eating. That really was gross. Poor Cubby. Beth
word verification-ovmjnall
jewish greeting of exasperation to michael jackson and friends with a southern accent
Baby bodily fluids. Such a delight - not.
Sorry and all that, but this post just made me laugh right out loud.
Post a Comment