T.T.: Do As I Do

I came across this old post I never actually posted for whatever reason, and decided it was sort of appropriate for a post-Mother's Day Tips.

One of the Pearls of Wisdom I have acquired since becoming a mother is that having children will force you to come face to face with your own failings . . . in your children.

This is most uncomfortable, particularly when I get mad at them for some kind of behavior that I then realize was exactly what I did when I was a kid.

Humbling. Very humbling.

But even worse than that is recognizing in my children some of my failings that I desperately wish they could overcome, because I know how those failings have affected my life.

For instance, I know about myself that I never want to do anything I'm not immediately good at. There are many things that I have an innate talent for, and those are the things I do. If it requires multiple attempts with the possibility of failure? Nope. I will avoid those things.

Obviously, this is not something I want my children to do. I mean, talk about an excellent way to limit yourself.

Unfortunately, this is a tendency I can see in at least one of my children already. I want to shake him and tell him forcefully, "Try the things you're not good at. Try the things you're afraid of. DON'T BE LIKE ME."

Not that he would listen. Kids often don't. But you know what they do do? They watch. They observe.

I hope he watches when I'm trying and failing to drive a screw that I'm still trying. And that I eventually got it.

I hope he sees me struggling to understand his math homework so I can help him, even if I don't always manage it.

I hope he sees me decorating the ugliest cakes ever and understands that I did it not because I am a talented cake decorator who can create beautiful cakes, but because I wanted to make my children happy.

It helps that almost ANY cake makes children happy, as long as their name (or, um, initial) and some candles are on it.

And I hope he tries, and fails, but does the hard things anyway.