Wednesday, February 1, 2012

What Not To Wear

I think it's a pretty safe generalization to say that anything I wear in my house, I should not wear outside of my house.  This is because all the clothing I wear at Blackrock is either stained or ugly.  Or both, actually.

This is brought home to me every time I have to leave the house and interact with people other than my son, my husband, or my mother-in-law, none of whom rate the courtesy of me caring what I look like around them, apparently.

Actually, my attire on a daily basis has less to do with me not making an effort and more to do with the fact that I live a particularly dirty and cold life, so I must be in clothing that is both warm and disposable enough that another rust stain from that one spot by the sink won't matter.

This is why I spend my days in long johns, jeans, a long-sleeved t-shirt, a flannel shirt, AND a wool sweater.  Basically, I look (and feel) like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from November to May.

I have three wool sweaters.  One is a hideous, bulky brown cardigan on which the buttons will not stay closed. The other is a not as hideous, but definitely more bulky cream-colored cardigan on which the buttons stay closed but which is perpetually dingy-looking thanks to its light color and the fact that it must be hand washed.  It weighs approximately twenty pounds when wet and takes three days to dry.  So.  Not so frequent with the washing.  And then I have a too-big-for-me alpaca sweater from Peru that my sister gave me.  It's the least bulky, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it attractive or anything.

These three sweaters are my mainstays day in and day out in the winter.  I will on occasion wear the alpaca sweater somewhere like the village library, but the other two?  Forget it.  I have my vanity, and I will not appear in public in these sweaters.

This is why when I leave the house for exciting events like story hour with Cubby on Tuesdays, I have to literally change my clothes for the hour I'm out of the house and then change back again when I get home.  I also have to do this because the layers of clothing necessary for even minimal comfort at Blackrock would probably cause me to suffer heatstroke in a normal, centrally heated environment.

You see the problems I have to deal with on a daily basis.  Such a trial, this life of mine.

So, duckies, what item (or items, plural) of clothing do you slump around the house in but would never, ever be caught in outside the house?  I know you all have at least one.


flask said...

sorry, but i am impervious to fashion as much outside my house as in.

the same bulky and functional outfits i live in at home are the same ones i go out in.

...except that one pair of jeans with a hole at the crotch.

Tami said...

I'm in "sleepy pants" anytime I'm home. And no bra either (Oh the HORROR). Weekends find me with no makeup and bushy, BUSHY hair. least I brush my teeth.

(Flask...I'm begining to think we all have the same holey jeans ;)

Stephanie Z said...

Sweat pants a t- shirt and my big robe and slippers are my staples at home. And I have been known to walk across the street to my daughters house wearing this. Last week I had my huge winter coat over my robe and my son in law said I looked like a homeless person. I told him I was warm and comfortable!

Anonymous said...

I go everywhere in the few items of clothing I own..basically..if you can't go there in jeans and a tshirt I don't there..

Anonymous said...

I have a grimey, oil stained (food oil, thank you ) stretched out thermal shirt that even my casually dressed fiance calls "special " So it is only for chilly nights inside..


Anonymous said...

My super comfy plaid flannel pants, baggy t-shirt and no bra are my weekend staples

Phoo-D said...

Sports bra, t-shirt, stretchy black yoga pants, thick wool socks, and one of several hooded sweatshirts all with holes and stains- this is pretty much my everyday look! Oh and no makeup and a ponytail. Yep, stylin' in the Dakotas right here. =)

Glenda in CO said...

Weekends are good for no bra, and my beloved old stained Savannah sweatshirt (nostalgic feelings) although it may not have survived the last staining with beef broth/fat that I splashed it with last weekend, will have to see if it comes out in the wash. Maybe jeans but usually sweat pants of some sort. Not my most FAVORITE french terry sweat pants, they got all full of cockleburrs in the garden last fall and had to be thrown out (sigh) and I haven't been able to find new ones....

Anonymous said...

On the days when I get to work from home, I never get out of my nightgown and robe. Mary in MN

mil said...

Gosh, I've got a big green heavy sweater I could lend you, and then you'd have four great big warm sweaters. I'll pull it out of the drawer--it's a nice dingy green that won't show dirt. Just the ticket.

Anonymous said...

I think I need to whittle down my wardrobe to just a few pieces. It would make getting ready to go anywhere easier.
Usually at home, something stretch on the bottom and a t-shirt and sweatshirt on top.
If I go to town...I change into jeans and a better looking top, usually. If I don't I always run into someone I know and regret not dressing up a bit...heeeeee jeans and a nice flannel shirt is dressing up here.
I love it that way. Beth

pugsx4 said...

I have a MIL that collects clothes like you would not believe and she is constantly giving them to me. Would you like some sweaters? I am serious.

Daisy said...

I could live in jeans and hooded sweatshirts. Unfortunately, being a teacher means I must upgrade to a slightly more professional wardrobe. Fortunately, I teach online, so that expectation is somewhat relaxed.

Once in a while I even manage to wear my "I do know all the answers but I'm sworn to secrecy" sweatshirt to work.

FinnyKnits said...

I think you know the Ugly Librarian Sweater, as Bubba calls it, gets worn exclusively inside my house.

Also, the favorite jeans and capris with the gigantor holes in crotch and ass only get worn at home, and sometimes then only when worn with shirts long enough to cover my decency.

I had considered my old grey pj pants to be "inside the house only" until our recent road trip when I gave up and walked the dog in them when we were staying overnight at a hotel.

I have no shame.