Let's Talk

Things we won't talk about:

1) Nursing on a plane. Let's just say: SO NOT FUN.

2) Changing diapers on a plane. See: SO NOT FUN.

3) Changing an entire baby outfit on a plane because of the above-mentioned diaper change and GOOD LORD CHILD, what have you been eating?!

4) Budget car rental. Who said, when I called to check, that sure they have car seats! We've never run out of car seats! There will be a car seat waiting when you arrive!

There were no car seats. They don't even HAVE infant car seats. And so Enterprise wins this particular customer's loyalty.

Things we will talk about:

1) Enterprise. How I love thee and your helpful staff and infant car seats, amen.

2) The Residence Inn Marriott. Free breakfast, and not a shitty "continental breakfast" either. PLUS a free dinner buffett WITH free beer and wine! We may live here forever.

3) Hotels in general. Blessed air conditioning. And hot water. And cleaning fairies that whisk away all messes. I love you, cleaning fairies. Will you come home with me?

4) Seeing my family and introducing them to Cubby. Grandpa in particular is a BIG hit.

5) Disposable diapers. I still feel vaguely guilty using them for the trip and just throwing them away, but OH MY GOD, the lure of convenience, it is strong.

Practice Run

Okay, Cubby. We're leaving this morning for New Orleans. You're going to be meeting all of your relatives from my family for the first time, and you have until Saturday to charm them. You want to make a good impression, don't you? Of course you do! So let's practice that big smile.

Don't give me that look, young man. When I say smile, you smile.

That's better. I'm glad you've adjusted your attitude. Now let's see a little more happiness . . .

Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about.

Get ready, New Orleans. Cubby is a comin'.

File This Under "Stupid Things I Have Done"

It's a big file. And its most recent entry is mulching my precious tomato seedlings with the urine-soaked straw from the sheep barn.

Not that this is inherently bad. In fact, it's supposed to be good. So say all the experts. So I finally decided to sack up this year and haul wheelbarrows of sheep-soiled straw to mulch the tomatoes. So virtuous of me! Such a disgusting chore! So relieved when it was done!

However.

I dug down too far, into the really ammonia-heavy muck in the bottom layers of straw. The result? Some of my seedlings got burned, meaning the leaves are all grayish and brittle.

STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID.

There are HOURS of work in those seedlings, and now it could all be wasted. It's not certain that the plants will die; the stems aren't wilting or anything, and most of them have some small new-growth green leaves on them that I'm hoping will bring the plants back to life. And I do have a few extra seedlings that aren't planted yet, so I can replace some.

BUT STILL. STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID.

It's a Sickness

I can't stop taking pictures of Cubby with every flower on the property when it blooms.

But really, why should I?

Cleansed

It was at least 80 degrees yesterday, humid and sunny. After preparing the ground for and planting another dozen tomato plants, half a dozen basil plants, and four jalapeno plants, and then stacking a truckload of firewood that A. had cut and split, plus cleaning the ashes out the woodstove and hauling them to the burn pile along with a couple of wheelbarrow loads of trimmings from the bushes by the front porch . . . I was beyond sweaty. I was totally, absolutely, and without a doubt disgusting. Unfit for polite company.

And so OF COURSE A.'s friend joined us for dinner. I don't think I contributed much to the appetizing atmosphere of the meal. Gross.

ANYWAY.

I finally got to bathe at 8 p.m., after Cubby went to bed. And OH MY GOD, the sweet relief of not being sticky and smelly anymore.

Heaven is a shower after a long day of hot labor.

It's Tomato Time!

I was so caught up in talking about my new cocktail yesterday that I failed to mention the real news: The tomatoes are in.

Well, SOME of the tomatoes are in, anyway. I spent a large part of Thursday digging up the tomato area, hoeing it, and constructing the tomato supports. Then I planted a dozen of my own seedlings that night, when it had cooled off. All of this left me feeling yesterday as if I had come out the loser in an encounter with a Mack truck (in other words . . . OWWWW), so I had to take yesterday off. But today I'm going to pick up some more seedlings from a local nursery (I buy my Romas and San Marzanos--we don't really have enough space to start enough seeds for two dozen tomatoes). Also basil and hot peppers. Then, if the weather stays cloudy but not actually rainy, I'll plant them. And then I'll make myself a Slippery Sidecar and collapse.

Well, as much as I can collapse while still hauling around the giant infant.

Bringing Back a Tradition

Okay, so "tradition" might be stretching it, as I think Alcohol Fridays consisted of all of two posts. Maybe three. I can't remember, and I'm not going to go back through my archives to find out, because we have more important things to do here. Namely, discuss my drinking habits. WHEEE!!

There are few things in this world that are more fun and make me feel more grown-up than using a cocktail shaker. I mean, paying taxes is grown-up, but there's no way it's FUN. Cocktail shakers, however, are SO FUN. I love them. I bought one for A. awhile ago for his birthday or something, and it gets a lot of use in our house. We like cocktails. And I made up a new one.

I KNOW. You thought I'd exhausted my creativity with the Slippery Slope, didn't you? No. I have a new one, and I will share it with you. Even though you probably can't make it yourself, because the odds of you having all the ingredients are pretty damn small.

I know. I'm mean.

ANYWAY.

See, a couple of years ago in the midst of mulberry juicing madness, I made a huge jar of mulberry liqueur, which is just crushed mulberries and sugar steeped in brandy, then strained. It's syrupy and sweet and I hadn't really figured out anything too appetizing to do with it. So it's just been sitting there on the liquor cabinet, mocking me.

Punk-ass liqueur.

ANYWAY AGAIN.

Now, you should also know that I'm a big fan of Sidecars. A Sidecar, for those of you who might not know, is a lovely cocktail involving brandy, orange liqueur, and lemon juice shaken up with ice in the Awesome Cocktail Shaker. I also add a little water, because it's a little too strong for me straight. So one day a couple of weeks ago, I had a thought: What if I substituted some of the mulberry liqueur (which is, after all, just sweetened, flavored brandy) for the brandy in a Sidecar?

I mentioned this idea to the MiL, who suggested it might be better to substitute the mulberry liqueur for the orange liqueur. The MiL used to be a bartender. She knows her alcohol. So I did as she suggested, and WOAH BUDDY. That's one strong drink. I had to water it even more than usual, but after I did, I was very much enamored of my creation. Which I dubbed the Slippery Sidecar. Because I'm clever like that.

So, if you ever have access to mulberry liqueur (hey, it could happen--Phoo-D did make mulberry juice once), here's what you do to make a Slippery Sidecar.

1) Add several cubes of ice to your Awesome Cocktail Shaker.

2) Pour in one shot of brandy, a half shot of mulberry liqueur, a couple of teaspoons of lemon juice (a quarter of a lemon, maybe), and some water. The water will be to taste, depending on how strong you like your drinks. I just give it a blast from the faucet. Maybe a shot-glass full.

3) Shake your Awesome Cocktail Shaker (and your groove thing, if you wish) up, down, and all around until your drink is nice and cold and the outside of the shaker is all frosty. SO FUN.

4) Pour into a glass, drink, and say "Thank you, Kristin."

I'll hear you. And you're welcome.